getzy_garcia

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getzy_garcia

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 948
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About getzy_garcia : You're a cutie (:

getzy_garcia's page activity

Visits<b>seninaa</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:47am<b>ironfey</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 9:45pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 10:19pm<b>alexhanakahi</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 5:31am<b>krupa1017</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 10:47am<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 9:16am<b>acidicthinking</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 11:48am<b>samm12099</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 8:14pm<b>Guardian88</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 12:59pm<b>mbonzo35</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 8:38pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 6:44am<b>SwimmingBassist</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 3:03am<b>maxyutd</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 11:49am<b>Linda_zlk</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 9:44am<b>theonex17</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 7:56am<b>BigMatt803</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 10:45pm<b>wranglerman89</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 10:30pm<b>_Rachel_2008</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 4:45am

getzy_garcia's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of getzy_garcia's badges

getzy_garcia's favorite FMLs

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:47am / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:20am / United States (Nevada) / Animals

Today, a woman pushed a stroller in front of my car. Thinking I'd hit someone, I jumped out. Turns out it was a doll. The "woman" was a 14-year-old girl, claiming, "I did it for the Vine!" FML

by Parusu / 02/12/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

by Anonymous / 02/07/2014 at 1:51pm / Mayotte / Miscellaneous

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

Today, Facebook put something out that shows a video of your entire life on the website. A part of it showed your most popular status update. Mine was from when I got dumped at Christmas. FML

by BigLove / 02/04/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

by DeeDee / 02/04/2014 at 5:08pm / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

by riiiight / 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

by freed / 01/29/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2014 at 4:57pm / Bahrain (Al Manamah) / Kids

Today, a girl I've never met before came up to me and punched me in the face, because she wanted to get suspended. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2014 at 11:30am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

by MM / 01/21/2014 at 6:26pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

by DisturbedMan / 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that the generous gift from my boyfriend of a new iPhone was only given so he could use the "find my phone" function to make sure I'm always where I say I am each day. I'm being stalked by my own boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2014 at 1:25pm / Italy (Toscana) / Love

Today, I found out that whenever my ex-wife is late getting the kids to school, she tells them to tell their teachers they were with me, and forges my name on the sign-in sheet. Missing homework? Dad's house. Forgot to bring something important? Ditto. The school thinks I'm a horrible parent. FML

by OvertonHippie / 01/13/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.