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getzy_garcia

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getzy_garcia
  • Town/Country : somewhere in this universe
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 122
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About getzy_garcia : You're a cutie (:

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getzy_garcia's favorite FMLs

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29685) - you deserved it (45290)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45046) - you deserved it (15888)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, a woman pushed a stroller in front of my car. Thinking I'd hit someone, I jumped out. Turns out it was a doll. The "woman" was a 14-year-old girl, claiming, "I did it for the Vine!" FML

#21058421
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47920) - you deserved it (3548)

On 02/12/2014 at 7:52pm - misc - by Parusu - United States (Florida)

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

#21053382
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39406) - you deserved it (3187)

On 02/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Mayotte

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

#21051812
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42675) - you deserved it (12102)

On 02/05/2014 at 10:39pm - misc - by tigerisabelle (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, Facebook put something out that shows a video of your entire life on the website. A part of it showed your most popular status update. Mine was from when I got dumped at Christmas. FML

#21050703
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45252) - you deserved it (4551)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:25pm - love - by BigLove (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

#21050455
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47622) - you deserved it (4477)

On 02/04/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by DeeDee - Austria (Wien)

Today, I went on a blind date. The first thing the guy did was ask if I knew what it felt like to have spiders crawl out of my vagina. FML

#21044324
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47362) - you deserved it (5031)

On 01/29/2014 at 5:14pm - love - by riiiight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40440) - you deserved it (10149)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

#21043189
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40441) - you deserved it (4687)

On 01/28/2014 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, a girl I've never met before came up to me and punched me in the face, because she wanted to get suspended. FML

#21036028
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46665) - you deserved it (3385)

On 01/22/2014 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

#21035329
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44986) - you deserved it (8216)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by MM - United States (Maine)

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53044) - you deserved it (4598)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I found out that the generous gift from my boyfriend of a new iPhone was only given so he could use the "find my phone" function to make sure I'm always where I say I am each day. I'm being stalked by my own boyfriend. FML

#21028727
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47796) - you deserved it (7963)

On 01/15/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I found out that whenever my ex-wife is late getting the kids to school, she tells them to tell their teachers they were with me, and forges my name on the sign-in sheet. Missing homework? Dad's house. Forgot to bring something important? Ditto. The school thinks I'm a horrible parent. FML



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