Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 18613
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

gesseniasxangel's page activity

Visits<b>emanhernandez</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 1:25pm<b>creeperwindow</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 10:04pm<b>vb68</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 3:09am<b>Mx_Rider</b> - the 06/06/2010 at 12:47am<b>ch2358</b> - the 10/06/2009 at 4:55pm<b>plexico</b> - the 10/03/2009 at 9:25pm<b>emadee</b> - the 08/20/2009 at 5:23pm<b>prplr</b> - the 08/20/2009 at 3:53pm<b>mzbreezy</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 11:56pm<b>sdouaji</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 10:04pm<b>miltonbradley</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 3:33pm<b>chubs</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 11:27pm<b>Sunol</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 1:16pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 11:20am<b>scottyz1</b> - the 04/15/2009 at 3:52am<b>danza</b> - the 04/14/2009 at 5:21am<b>immolate5</b> - the 03/30/2009 at 8:28pm

gesseniasxangel's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

gesseniasxangel's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying "I'm good" or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

by UncleRory / 05/16/2009 at 5:13am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

by dammitall / 05/15/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

by Flicker / 05/14/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I did my laundry in my dorm. After dragging 2 hampers down 4 flights of stairs, my ID card with money on it was rejected. After dragging it back upstairs, I scrounged up enough quarters from friends. 30 minutes after finally starting my laundry, I realized I forgot to add detergent. FML

by CollegeGirl / 05/01/2009 at 5:15pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, I forgot my inhaler. I had an asthma attack and had to go to the ER. The doctors told me it wasn't an asthma attack. It was just a panic attack from worrying about whether I would get an asthma attack. FML

by jlover42 / 05/01/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML

by Sad / 04/28/2009 at 6:13pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Money

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

by BadBreath / 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

by 00Evan / 04/05/2009 at 9:48am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

by manlyman / 04/05/2009 at 9:32am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy