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geekprincessnyx's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
geekprincessnyx's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML
by pubemilkshake / 12/07/2014 at 9:12pm / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML
by terdberglerforlyfe / 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Kids
Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML
by NRFTW / 12/17/2013 at 12:10am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by fries / 11/24/2013 at 11:01am / United States (New York) / Love
by /(•'_'•)\ / 09/07/2013 at 12:59pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML
by jeed(1) / 08/25/2013 at 5:36pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Work
by amanda / 07/23/2013 at 1:17am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, after having spent years staying in school, working hard to achieve good grades, and avoiding all the bad kids, my mom accused me of having no direction in life and complained about how I haven't given her a grandchild yet. I'm 19. FML
by luciazee / 06/06/2013 at 4:51pm / Peru (Lima) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancée told me that she wants us to have an open marriage. She reasons that since she doesn't equate sex with love, there's no logical reason for me to be against her having sex with other people. FML
by ApparentlyNotEno / 06/05/2013 at 4:40pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/29/2013 at 12:32am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML
by Anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Work
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML
Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML
by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, a state trooper ticketed me after learning I was ticketed for the same offense an hour earlier, namely driving with a broken headlight. The good news is that both tickets will be dismissed if I go to court. The bad news is that I'd have to go to different courthouses at the same time of day. FML
by halfmypaycheckgone / 02/05/2013 at 1:59pm / United States (North Carolina) / Money
Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML
by apparentlythereisnokarma / 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I was in a taxi in Mexico. The driver got fed up with the traffic and decided to cross the…