About geass_user : meh.
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geass_user's favorite FMLs
Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML
by TheKingKen / 07/01/2014 at 8:33pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/15/2014 at 3:22pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by really?? / 06/02/2014 at 3:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by taintedlover / 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML
by Anonymous / 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 10:27am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2014 at 3:31pm / Singapore / Transportation
Today, I saw a photo on my mother-in-law's Facebook, proudly showing off the horrible job she'd done of painting her car. I sarcastically commented that I wouldn't inflict that on my worst enemy's ride. An hour later, she came by and emptied a bucket of paint over my windshield. FML
by time to lawyer up / 02/20/2014 at 4:20pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by bruisedandconfused / 02/16/2014 at 5:47pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by Parusu / 02/12/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML
by Can't Believe It. / 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML
by MM / 01/21/2014 at 6:26pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting ready for a night out with the girls, and without any hint of trickery, just wanting an honest answer, I asked my boyfriend how I looked in the dress I chose. He immediately dropped to his knees, yelled, "NOOOOOOOOO!" and calmly left the room. FML
by -_-" / 01/11/2014 at 6:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I sent a message on Facebook to a girl I really like. She replied, "..." It took me three hours to realize she'd actually written it. I thought it was just Facebook telling me she was typing. FML
by Andrew / 01/02/2014 at 6:49pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Miscellaneous
by um...no? i don't think so anyway / 12/15/2013 at 2:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Love