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gators1995

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gators1995
  • Town/Country : Marietta, U.S.A.
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 May 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1014
  • Number of comments : 201
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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gators1995's favorite FMLs

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

#16101317
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38720) - you deserved it (16719)

On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

#16016488
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8128) - you deserved it (52735)

On 05/02/2011 at 5:33am - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

#16009360
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13708) - you deserved it (42385)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -

Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML

#15698653
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16949) - you deserved it (31933)

On 04/08/2011 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML

#15600756
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29089) - you deserved it (10626)

On 04/02/2011 at 3:35am - kids - by Viciousvixen_21 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to mock a few stuck-up runners by effortlessly jumping over the track hurdles. The last one was the easiest. The easiest to crush my balls on, and twist my ankle up in the process. FML

#15542266
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6293) - you deserved it (35325)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42545) - you deserved it (6477)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
494 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33481) - you deserved it (47500)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, I banged into a glass door. My friend laughed at me, so I turned around and gave him the finger, then turned back to continue walking and banged into the door again. FML

#15319937
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12316) - you deserved it (47560)

On 03/15/2011 at 8:37am - misc - by sylverster - Singapore

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

#15243539
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29814) - you deserved it (6639)

On 03/08/2011 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my friend convinced me that a staple gun doesn't work on skin. I decided to put this new piece of information to the test. FML

#15239631
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6792) - you deserved it (82231)

On 03/08/2011 at 10:50am - misc - by ouch (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML

#15209199
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51253) - you deserved it (2927)

On 03/05/2011 at 7:24pm - misc - by poked - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was telling my students that it's unnecessary to put arrows on the bottom of the page to tell me there's work on the back, I check it anyway. At the end of the day, at least 6 kids came up to me asking to change their grade because I forgot to grade the back. They hadn't put arrows. FML

#15189592
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5482) - you deserved it (44528)

On 03/03/2011 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML

#15000318
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35092) - you deserved it (4154)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely different animal. I'm eighteen. FML

#14924487
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6826) - you deserved it (54741)

On 02/10/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by acab93 - United States (Texas)



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