galt

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galt

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11845
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About galt : Bands :3

galt's page activity

Visits<b>george_s_4</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 2:41pm<b>Addiction333</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 3:52pm<b>Roozb</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 7:16pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 6:54am<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 3:29am<b>FFStepchild283</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 9:17pm<b>Woody02284</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 7:36pm<b>george93</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 4:36pm<b>JLattouf</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 12:33pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 5:46am<b>jjumprope</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 1:40am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 5:28pm<b>liljimmy73</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:20am<b>zingline89</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 12:12am<b>sb4331</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:40pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 8:49am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:30pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:11pm

Fucked!<b>george_s_4</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 8:42pm<b>george93</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 10:36pm

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Who’s the fairest of them all?

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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galt's favorite FMLs

Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2013 at 5:06am / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2013 at 12:28am / United States / Intimacy

Today, as a learner driver, I embarked on my longest drive ever: back home, from Sydney to Melbourne, which is around a 700km drive. I managed to get the whole way without any problems. I crashed into my driveway. FML

by aaaaahhhh / 04/06/2013 at 4:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

by everyoneheard / 03/28/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 4:00am / United States (California) / Holidays

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

by apparentlytoougly / 03/27/2013 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML

by Imafishyfishy / 03/27/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was on a bumpy bus ride and had to write a note, so I held my notebook against the bus window to steady my hand. An elderly woman then yelled at me, accusing me of drawing graffiti on the window. The bus driver kicked me off and I had to wait an hour in the rain for the next bus. FML

by 00sasori / 03/27/2013 at 1:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML

by first time at McDonald's in months... / 03/27/2013 at 1:04am / United States / Health

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, during a sex ed lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy and abortion from the school nurse. Throughout the session she kept repeating, "Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this." The nurse happens to know that my dad's a gynaecologist. That's not what everyone else in the year thinks. FML

by Soph / 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML

by fuckyoutoo / 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

by BaliTheDog / 03/24/2013 at 7:01pm / France / Animals

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

by Hurrikhan / 03/23/2013 at 7:43am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Animals