About funky2525 : I'm always smiling and love to have fun!!
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funky2525's favorite FMLs
Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML
by kaheera4 / 04/04/2014 at 6:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML
by fuck you with a bacon cock / 04/04/2014 at 6:07pm / United Kingdom (Moray) / Miscellaneous
by fuck off, dad / 04/04/2014 at 5:31pm / Colombia / Love
Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML
by booboo300 / 04/03/2014 at 6:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by wiona / 04/03/2014 at 1:22pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, I was working at a coffee shop. I was serving a customer when a cockroach appeared out of nowhere, and I screamed. Customers aren't supposed to know about the bugs so I had to lie and say I spilled coffee on myself, and served the customer while I felt the bug climbing up my leg. FML
by bubblooz / 04/02/2014 at 10:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuc / 04/02/2014 at 5:22pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Love
Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML
by I Have Failed / 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm / Spain (Madrid) / Kids
Today, I discovered that the laser disc player I used to have was not in fact a laser disc player but a Pioneer Laseractive. Broken ones sell on eBay for $200 and working ones sell for around $1000. I sold a working one for less than $100-worth of credit at a second-hand store. FML
by Sad Nerd / 04/02/2014 at 4:20am / United States (Arizona) / Money
by IcyWinter / 04/02/2014 at 4:16am / Canada (Manitoba) / Kids
Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. FML
by Why / 04/02/2014 at 4:13am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML
by that kind of girl / 04/01/2014 at 8:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by derped-out sperm / 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm / Ireland / Kids
by phantomthelabrat / 03/31/2014 at 8:24am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend made me sit in his kitchen while he Skyped his mother because he doesn't "feel ready" to tell her he has a girlfriend. He's 23, lives on a different continent and has been dating me for over 6 months. FML
by haztod / 03/30/2014 at 5:52pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls,… Today, I overheard my parents having sex. Trying to be the reasonable person I was, I dismissed it,… Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and…