About fuggotmuggot : My life be like Ooh Aah.
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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100 kick ass comments
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fuggotmuggot's favorite FMLs
by Fred / 03/19/2015 at 9:06pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML
by mafille / 03/18/2015 at 11:22pm / France / Kids
Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML
by no salt, no burning, just STFU / 03/08/2015 at 10:41am / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML
by UncleMonkey / 03/06/2015 at 1:18am / United States (California) / Health
Today, my teacher reached over to hand me a paper. I thought it would be funny to flinch and say, "Dad, please don't hit me". Unfortunately, he didn't think it was a joke, so I got questioned by the on-campus officer. FML
by jlol / 03/05/2015 at 9:32am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
by Highnapple / 03/04/2015 at 2:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/25/2015 at 5:33am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML
by Like mother like daughter / 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by xxruby / 02/24/2015 at 4:07pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by poncho55 / 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML
by pissed / 02/20/2015 at 7:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 02/20/2015 at 6:49pm / United States (Arkansas) / Animals
Today, I drove alone for the first time since I passed my test. I kept getting weird looks from other drivers and got pulled over by a cop. He said I was clearly underage and was sure my license was fake. Almost half an hour later, he finally let me go. I hate having a baby-face. FML
by all tweened out / 02/20/2015 at 3:00pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling… Today my fiancee and I were having sex, it was lovely and we both were really into it. I decided to… Today, after asking my manager how his day was going he explained that he stopped drinking and was…