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fuckyourlifeOP's FML badges
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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You've liked someone. How cute!
fuckyourlifeOP's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML
by Nomoreballs / 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
Today, I finally bought the expensive but beautifully stylish dress I've been eyeing for ages online. Ten minutes later, I went back to check the shoes the model was wearing so I could coordinate my outfit. The dress had been reduced to half price. FML
by fuzzle003 / 06/13/2012 at 8:47am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Money
by Lizofsmeg / 05/11/2012 at 1:03am / United States / Love
by yelyah / 03/29/2012 at 12:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Sarah / 03/26/2012 at 7:14am / United States / Love
by myjobsucks / 12/12/2011 at 9:15pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by trembelwick / 12/03/2011 at 5:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Badab1ng / 11/24/2011 at 1:52am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML
by macattack / 09/01/2011 at 10:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML
by worksux / 01/05/2011 at 3:25pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML
by meow / 01/13/2010 at 11:27pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
Today, I was at the theatre with my 4-year-old son who was situated on my lap. Halfway through the movie, he turns to face me and states loudly, "Mommy, your legs are so furry!". Everyone watching the show turned and stared at us. FML
by Anonymous / 12/14/2009 at 1:58am / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML
by Taraa3 / 10/10/2009 at 6:19am / United Kingdom (Hartlepool) / Intimacy
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
by NotAParabola / 10/07/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Oregon) / Love
- Today, things were getting steamy with my boyfriend. For once, I tried to be more vocal to turn him… Today, I'm looking after three little girls, aged 3, 5 and 7 years old. We're watching Bambi, and… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…