About friedpwnadge : Now offering upgrades from basic bitch to premium bitch for three small payments of $19.95. And no I don't wear Gucci hoe.
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
friedpwnadge's favorite FMLs
Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML
by BakedBat / 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/20/2014 at 5:01am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Miscellaneous
by sarad206 / 02/19/2014 at 4:09pm / United States / Work
Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML
by molliciousj / 02/19/2014 at 12:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML
by Elisa_LmR / 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML
by Purplexus / 01/02/2014 at 9:13am / Turkey (Ankara) / Miscellaneous
Today, I caught my neighbor picking my flowers out of the planter on my porch. When I said something to her, she ran off and knocked over the planter, smashing it. She is now acting like nothing happened. FML
by Caimimi / 12/30/2013 at 10:46am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by LeaveHimAlone / 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Kayak / 12/29/2013 at 6:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by lonely otaku / 12/25/2013 at 2:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by Wtfbro / 12/24/2013 at 3:30pm / United States / Love
by wasted time / 12/19/2013 at 4:09am / United States / Work
by whereismyprince? / 12/18/2013 at 12:01pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love