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fresh_beer

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fresh_beer
  • Town/Country : Austria
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 855
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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fresh_beer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was forced to spend an extra $318 for another plane ticket to Dallas. The ticket wasn't for my daughter, my mom, or my sister, but for the quarter of my butt that apparently needs its own seat. FML

#12841369
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15534) - you deserved it (7576)

On 08/31/2010 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I put on makeup for a picture. My Facebook profile picture. That's how much of a life I actually have. FML

#12534816
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11482) - you deserved it (28210)

On 08/15/2010 at 4:42am - misc - by Lifeless (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML

#12214891
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7263) - you deserved it (51868)

On 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by ick - United States (California)

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML

#12161985
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20460) - you deserved it (26790)

On 07/28/2010 at 7:20am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML

Today, I got a huge bill through the post. It turns out that my elderly mother made the vet come out to my house to see the dog while I was out, because she was scared of the little growths she had found on his body. They were nipples. FML

#10925593
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25149) - you deserved it (1697)

On 06/02/2010 at 7:15pm - money - by dogshavenipples (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, the girl that I fancy was sick and I offered to hug her, but she protested saying that she didn't want to get me sick. I told her, "If hugging you gets me sick, then I'll just have to deal with being sick." She gave me the biggest hug she could. I haven't stopped puking since. FML

#10812675
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9906) - you deserved it (39890)

On 05/28/2010 at 12:15am - love - by TheSickness (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML

#10696817
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30598) - you deserved it (13836)

On 05/22/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by ChubbyAmerican (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML

#10678827
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9643) - you deserved it (34829)

On 05/21/2010 at 10:41pm - health - by guyshithappensto (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was having an affair with a girl from my work. She scratched my back while we were doing it and I didn't want my wife to find out so I threw myself down the stairs at work and ended up having to go to the hospital. FML

#10658705
493 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13322) - you deserved it (225118)

On 05/20/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Chichensoup (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML

#10624729
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26221) - you deserved it (3402)

On 05/19/2010 at 8:00am - love - by likesboys (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

#9918494
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7354) - you deserved it (61746)

On 04/16/2010 at 8:34am - health - by TowelSmellsNice (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29310) - you deserved it (4330)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

#9104990
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32544) - you deserved it (2980)

On 03/15/2010 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I seriously considered labelling myself as 'in a relationship' on Facebook, even though I haven't been in one since '92, so I can hide just how desperate I am. FML

#9097225
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22627) - you deserved it (6424)

On 03/15/2010 at 4:11am - love - by MrsRockyHorror (woman) - United States (Vermont)



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