freesitter

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freesitter

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 February 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1026
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About freesitter : 22, love zombies, chardonnay, Netflix, and my fiance.

freesitter's page activity

Visits<b>sierra142</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 4:25pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 12:25pm<b>aLiYaaH</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 12:22pm<b>Posey</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 4:38pm<b>Roulios</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 3:45am<b>life_sucks225</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 1:57am<b>olpally</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 8:36am<b>jonsmith01973</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 5:31am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 11:37pm<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 11:14pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 1:32pm<b>kitkat1255</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 8:29am<b>jw90</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 6:30am<b>bballer4life895</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 2:32am<b>Pesticides</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 2:15am<b>neeni88</b> - the 06/24/2013 at 2:10am<b>Mornai</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 12:07am<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 11:44pm

freesitter's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of freesitter's badges

freesitter's favorite FMLs

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

by awkward / 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML

by a tad whipped / 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm / Australia / Money

Today, I got my very first yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm / United States / Health

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

by mrricecakes / 03/23/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

by Sharibabi65 / 03/07/2012 at 1:16am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

by soontobedumped / 01/15/2012 at 2:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

by Henry / 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Intimacy

Today, my mom and I heard a thump from inside the coat closet. I opened the door, and something fell on me. My mom, who was behind me, screamed, closed the laundry room door, and ran into the garage, leaving me to face the alleged attacker. It was the vacuum. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to a woman I didn't know that my husband was killed overseas. She replied, "I know exactly how you feel, my dog died last month." FML

by socks / 09/21/2011 at 3:01am / United States / Animals

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML

by single / 07/01/2011 at 5:12am / China (Guangdong) / Love

Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2011 at 2:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy