fortytwo

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fortytwo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 19995
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About fortytwo : http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/5365/herpdurp.png

fortytwo's page activity

Visits<b>ShortStop19</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 9:29pm<b>rocketgurl</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 6:50pm<b>killuhand</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:21pm<b>gingerface81</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 12:06am<b>AliceLiddel</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 11:16pm<b>lmr322</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 7:48am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:23pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:16am<b>Intelligence</b> - the 10/03/2009 at 9:54am<b>NobodysLover</b> - the 09/05/2009 at 8:30pm<b>someotherbitch</b> - the 07/07/2009 at 11:57am<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 06/30/2009 at 3:10pm<b>Crazy8chevy</b> - the 06/25/2009 at 6:25pm<b>shewasalmost18</b> - the 06/23/2009 at 10:48am<b>kirlia</b> - the 06/18/2009 at 5:57pm<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 06/18/2009 at 11:55am<b>epic_name</b> - the 06/14/2009 at 1:06am<b>lm_wfc</b> - the 06/13/2009 at 5:32am

fortytwo's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

fortytwo's favorite FMLs

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

by Shaun / 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML

by Mojo_Jojo / 06/13/2009 at 7:01am / China (Beijing) / Love

Today, I was playing paintball when I noticed a 9 year old fat kid sitting and crying on the ground. Thinking he'd fallen and was hurt, I walked over to him. He looks up and shoots me in the face, arm, stomach, and happy sacks area from 4 feet away then runs off. He was not hurt at all, and now everything tastes like paint. FML

by Woody / 06/09/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 12:30pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy