About folfg0 : FML is checked everyday. I don't like being a grammar nazi, especially since I misspell words sometimes. But for the love of Pete. If ur guna tipe rike dis, u bttr b retarted.
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
folfg0's favorite FMLs
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML
by nextcontestant16 / 11/19/2012 at 10:12am / United States / Intimacy
Today, at the age of 29, I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago, my fiancé and I lost our home, and are now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got dropped off at home, before 10, after having sex in a hay field. FML
by Anonymous / 11/19/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML
by mfischer / 11/16/2012 at 4:40am / United States / Miscellaneous
by anon / 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML
by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:48am / France (Picardie) / Love
by mental / 10/25/2012 at 7:09pm / United States / Love
by Kallian / 10/25/2012 at 3:08am / Australia / Money
by Anonymous / 10/08/2012 at 6:27pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Kids
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
by TheVirginJenny / 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML
by nonfreehugs / 10/04/2012 at 1:09am / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by bacon lovers worst nightmare / 09/26/2012 at 2:57am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML
by ClaireBear150 / 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
- Today, I woke up to my head being covered by a pissy diaper, a pile of pee not even an inch from my… Today, my ex girlfriend crashed my wedding. Not only did she get on stage and moon my friends and… Today, my boyfriend went to the ER. I ran to catch the nearest city bus. My sandal breaks. I had to…