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foamsinmouth

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foamsinmouth
  • Town/Country : Melville, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 August 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 3332
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About foamsinmouth : College student

foamsinmouth's last visitors

jasminenoelle

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

foamsinmouth's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML

#3648052
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23495) - you deserved it (63484)

On 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm - love - by failhusband (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
813 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113722) - you deserved it (71760)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML

#2110386
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38003) - you deserved it (12306)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

#2045344
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61124) - you deserved it (6180)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I went shopping with my sister. Looking for something to say, I told her how one of my friends had been burgled. Then I realised it was Bree on Desperate Housewives. FML

#2010345
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15004) - you deserved it (54384)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

#1815413
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71247) - you deserved it (7973)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while babysitting, I gave the boy a pen and paper because he wanted to draw me. When he was done, he let me see but then said, "Wait! I'm not done." He took it back and basically colored in the arms. I said, "I'm not wearing long-sleeves." He said, "That's hair." FML

#1807678
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42933) - you deserved it (7182)

On 05/10/2009 at 9:18am - kids - by thesitter (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML

#1800346
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55161) - you deserved it (5341)

On 05/10/2009 at 1:05am - kids - by sucksforme. (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML

#1791192
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22201) - you deserved it (76827)

On 05/09/2009 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by Jeremy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

#1687586
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12293) - you deserved it (53672)

On 05/06/2009 at 10:07am - animals - by pissedoffandon (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML

#1579657
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51291) - you deserved it (2849)

On 05/03/2009 at 12:16am - kids - by itswhateverr (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML

#1551610
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85278) - you deserved it (8273)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I bought a coral colored hooded sweatshirt, which my girlfriend told me was "hot". I wore it to a baseball game tonight. When it got cold I put the hood over my head, only to hear everyone behind me laugh. The back of the hood said "Boy crazy". It was a teen girls sweatshirt. FML

#963370
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16973) - you deserved it (63007)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by khood (man) - United States

Today, the guy that I like took me on to the Cavaliers game. At the game, on the jumbotron they do a thing where they show couples and have them kiss, the camera goes on to us and as I go into kiss him he turns and says "not in this lifetime". The entire stadium got to see me get rejected. FML

#934076
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124822) - you deserved it (9149)

On 04/12/2009 at 6:40pm - love - by cavgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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