About fmlgiraffe : Hey
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I always check before bed. Not one for commenting much, but I do read all your comments & profiles etc.
About fmlgiraffe : Hey
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fmlgiraffe's favorite FMLs
by honk honk, fuckwad / 11/06/2015 at 5:39pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Lily_Rain77 / 01/07/2015 at 7:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by woofwoof / 12/29/2014 at 11:17pm / Turkey (Izmir) / Animals
Today, my dad texted me saying he had "big news." I immediately called, thrilled, because I assumed he meant that he finally found a job and that our money troubles were over. The "big news" was him being excited at seeing an actor from one TV show he likes in another TV show. FML
by still poor / 12/05/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
by Anonymous / 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 11/24/2014 at 10:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML
by Anonymous / 11/20/2014 at 3:15pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML
by Deadpool434 / 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
by camerashyguy / 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Jamesfmled / 09/13/2014 at 10:01am / Intimacy
Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML
by PerfectVision / 09/11/2014 at 2:49am / United States (Washington) / Work
by no / 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (California) / Love
by retromermaid / 09/09/2014 at 8:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML
by drunk under 18 teenager / 08/19/2014 at 9:37am / Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz) / Geek
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…