fmlgiraffe

Search for a member

Offline (the 06/24/2016 at 9:19pm)

fmlgiraffe

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 January 1984 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1604
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About fmlgiraffe : Hey
I'm a FML phone app user.
I always check before bed. Not one for commenting much, but I do read all your comments & profiles etc.
:)

fmlgiraffe's page activity

Visits<b>Goat_E_mom</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 4:07pm<b>paravoz</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 2:16am<b>swimgood</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 10:50pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 3:08am<b>raven83</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 3:06am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 9:03am<b>AllyJo1231</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 4:35pm<b>silverstar1995</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 10:52pm<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 12:54pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 11:21pm<b>actuallythoo</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:55am<b>THEDUDE1553566</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 4:43pm<b>FireFighter818</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 11:55am<b>Georgiecan</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 4:38am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 11:29pm<b>dgameseeker</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 11:33am<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:25am<b>wilburhp</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 12:29pm

Fucked!<b>Goat_E_mom</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 10:07pm<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 6:54pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:35pm<b>dgameseeker</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 5:33pm<b>dancer824</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:52pm

fmlgiraffe's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of fmlgiraffe's badges

fmlgiraffe's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a dream where I was giving Justin Bieber a blowjob. I'm a totally straight male. I have half a mind to bill the little bastard for therapy sessions. FML

by honk honk, fuckwad / 11/06/2015 at 5:39pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

by Lily_Rain77 / 01/07/2015 at 7:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML

by woofwoof / 12/29/2014 at 11:17pm / Turkey (Izmir) / Animals

Today, my dad texted me saying he had "big news." I immediately called, thrilled, because I assumed he meant that he finally found a job and that our money troubles were over. The "big news" was him being excited at seeing an actor from one TV show he likes in another TV show. FML

by still poor / 12/05/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a good mood for once and my professor looks at me and says, "I don't know what you ate for breakfast but you're really annoying today." FML

by anonymous / 11/24/2014 at 10:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2014 at 3:15pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

by Deadpool434 / 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

by camerashyguy / 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend texted me saying, "I have some Durex and want your help" so I rushed to her house. She had meant to say "Dulux". I had to help her paint her bedroom. FML

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

by PerfectVision / 09/11/2014 at 2:49am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

by no / 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I received a package in the mail. It was a workout and weight-loss plan that I ordered last week. I finished an entire pizza and pint of ice-cream as I read the guidelines. FML

by retromermaid / 09/09/2014 at 8:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

by drunk under 18 teenager / 08/19/2014 at 9:37am / Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz) / Geek