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fml0505

Offline (the 03/21/2015 at 12:44pm) | Search for a member

fml0505

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 30 May 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1531
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About fml0505 : I'm a businessman who doubles as a door to door Mormon recruiter. I'll hand you a bible and sell you shit all at the same time. I'm very good. So good that I can convince grown ass, free thinking adults into believing Mormonism, and then sell them a vacuum. Because cleanliness is next to godliness.

fml0505's page activity

Visits<b>soccercrewluv10</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 9:25pm<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 11:48pm<b>CreatingReality</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:07am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 1:18pm<b>ExorcistParrot</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 4:44am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:46pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 8:34pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 11:22pm<b>noobsatin</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 12:33am<b>GalaxyShots</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:41pm<b>Coocoo257</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 9:10pm<b>meli1195</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 2:32am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 6:28pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 3:01pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 12:55pm<b>dylanhasemann</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 3:47am<b>origamidragon</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 3:16am<b>sam882</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 12:25am

fml0505's FML badges

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You've liked someone. How cute!

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of fml0505's badges

fml0505's favorite FMLs

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41960) - you deserved it (11236)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -

Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML

#14484752
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26513) - you deserved it (2405)

On 01/06/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, my son told his teacher that she "has a nice rack." He's four. FML

#14079841
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28310) - you deserved it (10476)

On 12/04/2010 at 1:50am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was getting my portrait done. The artist told me to smile. He looked at me, then said, "Oh, don't smile." FML

#10066233
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29633) - you deserved it (4035)

On 04/22/2010 at 1:37pm - health - by :) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I was bored at work looking at a sex offender list of my area. After a couple pages, I saw my uncle. FML

#8638968
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40075) - you deserved it (2380)

On 02/25/2010 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by grossuncle (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

#8409963
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20472) - you deserved it (3663)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:08pm - love - by gp28 - United States

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

#7501218
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41617) - you deserved it (3533)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States

Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML

#5876533
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42559) - you deserved it (2494)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Norrbottens Lan)

Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML

#4370126
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53717) - you deserved it (16178)

On 08/07/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Momlovesme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my brother was selling pictures of me showering. For what? World of Warcraft money. FML

#4073449
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66991) - you deserved it (4390)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by Anon (woman) - Singapore

Today, I went to a funeral. When I got there, I hugged one of the family members and he asked, "How are you?" Out of habit, I replied, "Good, how about you?" He looked appalled and shouted "How the fuck do you think I am?! My mother just died!" loud enough for everyone to hear. FML

#3968055
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41018) - you deserved it (18472)

On 07/23/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by partycats (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up feeling a tingling sensation on my testicles. I enjoyed it for a few seconds, then threw off the covers. Looks like there have been cockroaches in my bed. FML

#3852842
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52396) - you deserved it (9422)

On 07/18/2009 at 6:48am - misc - by fartypeepee (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

#3505255
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41630) - you deserved it (21896)

On 07/05/2009 at 2:16pm - misc - by shit... (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33689) - you deserved it (146283)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)



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