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About fml0505 : I'm just your average guy. For starters, I'm a member of the Westboro Baptist Church. I kill the time traveling to protests by listening to Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus. They are my favorite.
Besides my religious affiliations and musical tastes, I am a cat lover. I have 12 of them and I am looking for lucky number 13! When I'm not tending to the overflowing litter boxes strewn across my house, I make custom cat sweaters.
My favorite TV shows are Honey Boo Boo, Jersey Shore, The Bachelorette, Toddlers for Tiaras, and all the different versions of Real Housewives. I only watch reality TV, more specifically; the kind that shows humanity at our finest and inspires me to become a better person.
One more thing; I use hashtags and lol in everyday conversation, all while tweeting my every thought and uploading hundreds of pictures of myself on Instagram.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML
Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML
Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML
Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML
Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
Friday 18 April 2014