Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member
About fml0505 : I'm just an ordinary towel, in a lot of ways. I was a colorful, soft, and gentle soul. Full of purpose, and eager to help. Always there to wrap around your shoulders and make everything seem alright. I waited and waited for these moments, and you'd always come back. I didn't mind waiting, if it was for you. I never felt like I was alone.
Until the day you stopped coming.
Left out to dry, I drifted into the darkness and slowly withered away. My minds eye had nowhere to look but inward, and there it stayed. Never blinking, never faltering; always peering down on me, demanding that I look back, demanding that I see who I really am.
I was always alone... I'm just a towel.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML
Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML
Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML
Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML
Friday 12 February 2016