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floppyjohnson

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floppyjohnson
  • Town/Country : Austin, Texas
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 45
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About floppyjohnson : I have an Afro and I have no idea what I'm doing

floppyjohnson's last visitors

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floppyjohnson's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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floppyjohnson's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML

#20930479
336 comments

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

#19568801
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33303) - you deserved it (9692)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32661) - you deserved it (19790)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

#11513456
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28590) - you deserved it (31684)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:12am - intimacy - by megaladon - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

#814298
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69093) - you deserved it (4514)

On 04/05/2009 at 9:32am - health - by manlyman (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

#379796
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50143) - you deserved it (30717)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by SmoothTalker (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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