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flockz

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 September 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12983
  • Number of comments : 2058
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 60 posted

About flockz : i'm a dick. are you offended by me? aw sorry ouch FYL for sure. dump me then sue me. you deserve better. shit happens.
sirinz.org (best FML comments)

not giving a fuck is an art.

Favorite FMLers:
-Iamnotmyself
-CryMoreFmls
-iAmScrubs
-Ikickgingers
-perdix
-Bastard
-TheIsland
-The_A_Teen
-Welshite

flockz's page activity

Visits<b>pjpeej13</b> - 17 hours ago<b>helloman5</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 1:23am<b>izkiz</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 5:23pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 12:50am<b>Blaisey</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 11:26pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 3:15pm<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 1:34am<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 9:42pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:29pm<b>wildhorseman</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm<b>polobeast</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 5:18pm<b>Sonotsuave</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 11:59pm<b>Aspyr</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 5:56pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 6:58pm<b>rachgrrr19</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 5:35pm<b>Derpulous</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 11:31pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 8:31pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 9:39pm

Liked!<b>papygeorges</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 11:09am<b>RageWolf16</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:09pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 3:42am<b>wannabefratguy94</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 6:07pm<b>Iamnotmyself</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:38am

flockz's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of flockz's badges

flockz's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML

#5708797
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30583) - you deserved it (15150)

On 10/07/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML

#5703197
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6786) - you deserved it (46673)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by imok (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

#5419647
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37993) - you deserved it (2234)

On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

#4983449
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9800) - you deserved it (38581)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58401) - you deserved it (11696)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

#4604892
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46095) - you deserved it (6478)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by JayBausch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML

#4478498
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51910) - you deserved it (7043)

On 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by auslander (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67105) - you deserved it (15358)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21975) - you deserved it (53622)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss sent out an email with the subject line "Urgent". He accidentally left the body of the email blank. I replied to all staff "You're firing blanks Peter". I later heard that his wife once got drunk and told everyone that they couldn't have kids because he has a low sperm count. FML

#3949208
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37415) - you deserved it (10304)

On 07/22/2009 at 4:16am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML

#3890479
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44320) - you deserved it (18260)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm - love - by DanceOnTheEdge (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36322) - you deserved it (95669)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
434 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36322) - you deserved it (95669)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

#3755395
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57020) - you deserved it (3518)

On 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm - animals - by homedoggieo (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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