flockz

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Offline (the 07/19/2015 at 9:56pm)

flockz

31Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 September 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 15097
  • Number of comments : 2058
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 60 posted

About flockz : i'm a dick. are you offended by me? aw sorry ouch FYL for sure. dump me then sue me. you deserve better. shit happens.
sirinz.org (best FML comments)

not giving a fuck is an art.

Favorite FMLers:
-Iamnotmyself
-CryMoreFmls
-iAmScrubs
-Ikickgingers
-perdix
-Bastard
-TheIsland
-The_A_Teen
-Welshite

flockz's page activity

Visits<b>lui_pg</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 1:51am<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 12:52am<b>smxiricky</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 2:15pm<b>milkyway101</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 11:14am<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 11:01am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 8:00pm<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 05/15/2016 at 6:53pm<b>10220706</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 11:15am<b>Tamiaxoxo00</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 2:46pm<b>EwahWeeWah</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 3:15pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 9:35am<b>Sketchisan</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 8:56am<b>necklacethief</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 4:22pm<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 4:44am<b>LoZLink01</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 12:45am<b>DatBlueDerp</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 4:57pm<b>yenze</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 4:01pm<b>SashaTaras</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 10:38pm

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 2:00am<b>SashaTaras</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 4:38am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 10:07pm<b>BakedBanana</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 10:16pm<b>twitchywaffles</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 6:46am<b>tintarroja</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 3:40am<b>Cyntha</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 5:41am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 6:30am<b>arano</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 12:38am<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 5:48am<b>DEATHLORD</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 7:49pm<b>quazimozart</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 12:47am<b>nezumii</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 8:32pm<b>patts_</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 9:23pm<b>lagreeni</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 6:00am<b>pookleberry</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:22am<b>Ragatyme</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:41am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 10:21pm

flockz's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of flockz's badges

flockz's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

by S / 01/09/2011 at 5:18am / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML

by sealy / 12/28/2010 at 2:44am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to see more of his passionate side. He pushed my head down towards his lap. FML

by Username / 11/23/2010 at 1:50am / Intimacy

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Florida) / Geek

Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML

by secretdoll / 11/09/2010 at 2:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone / 09/23/2010 at 7:01am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

by dom / 09/08/2010 at 2:53am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

by Photagrapher / 08/18/2010 at 12:09am / Intimacy

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

by lonelyguy321 / 07/27/2010 at 10:43am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

by Marie / 07/27/2010 at 3:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

by emilygreeny / 06/18/2010 at 1:42am / United States / Health

Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy on the coffee table, threw away a used condom, dug his hand into my bag of Doritos, and washed his hands. In that order. FML

by Doritos / 06/17/2010 at 4:06am / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

by notmydad. / 05/08/2010 at 6:07am / Philippines (Manila) / Intimacy