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flockz

Offline (the 07/19/2015 at 9:56pm) | Search for a member

flockz

18Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 September 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13977
  • Number of comments : 2058
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 60 posted

About flockz : i'm a dick. are you offended by me? aw sorry ouch FYL for sure. dump me then sue me. you deserve better. shit happens.
sirinz.org (best FML comments)

not giving a fuck is an art.

Favorite FMLers:
-Iamnotmyself
-CryMoreFmls
-iAmScrubs
-Ikickgingers
-perdix
-Bastard
-TheIsland
-The_A_Teen
-Welshite

flockz's page activity

Visits<b>waffleprincess18</b> - 11 hours ago<b>hman1025</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 7:17pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:52pm<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 3:36pm<b>kianabanannna</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 2:24pm<b>little_fucker</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 4:14pm<b>thatguy206</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 7:33pm<b>patts_</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 3:23pm<b>punwpa</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:54am<b>wandering_soul</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 12:43pm<b>robbyq</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 3:13pm<b>luminalunii69</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 9:51pm<b>achoo123</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 8:44pm<b>Amateur_Dank</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 2:00am<b>fel_11</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 1:56pm<b>Strajee</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 2:37am<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 11:56pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 3:14pm

Fucked!<b>patts_</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 9:23pm<b>lagreeni</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 6:00am<b>pookleberry</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:22am<b>Ragatyme</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:41am<b>BettyMouse</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 3:42pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 10:21pm<b>S13rra01257</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 4:10am<b>XmasaX</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 3:50am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:44am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 7:12pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 8:02pm<b>rossea</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 4:19am<b>SchelleForelle</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 3:44pm<b>papygeorges</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 11:09am<b>RageWolf16</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:09pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 3:42am<b>wannabefratguy94</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 6:07pm<b>Iamnotmyself</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:38am

flockz's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of flockz's badges

flockz's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42731) - you deserved it (27642) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

#14518129
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27685) - you deserved it (5375)

On 01/09/2011 at 5:18am - intimacy - by S - Singapore

Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML

#14365542
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29295) - you deserved it (7488)

On 12/28/2010 at 2:44am - intimacy - by sealy (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to see more of his passionate side. He pushed my head down towards his lap. FML

#13945313
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27107) - you deserved it (13160)

On 11/23/2010 at 1:50am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

#13827261
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12859) - you deserved it (52302)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML

#13774014
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37065) - you deserved it (3679)

On 11/09/2010 at 2:51am - intimacy - by secretdoll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

#13167367
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12284) - you deserved it (44941)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:01am - misc - by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

#12959324
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20530) - you deserved it (30132)

On 09/08/2010 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dom - United States

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48448) - you deserved it (15106)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

#12595665
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32555) - you deserved it (16578)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Photagrapher - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

#12143188
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37253) - you deserved it (15843)

On 07/27/2010 at 10:43am - intimacy - by lonelyguy321 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

#12139792
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34227) - you deserved it (4862)

On 07/27/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by Marie - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

#11281809
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11060) - you deserved it (51410)

On 06/18/2010 at 1:42am - health - by emilygreeny - United States

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

#10414091
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39321) - you deserved it (3248)

On 05/08/2010 at 6:07am - intimacy - by notmydad. (woman) - Philippines (Manila)



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