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flockz

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 September 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12981
  • Number of comments : 2058
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 60 posted

About flockz : i'm a dick. are you offended by me? aw sorry ouch FYL for sure. dump me then sue me. you deserve better. shit happens.
sirinz.org (best FML comments)

not giving a fuck is an art.

Favorite FMLers:
-Iamnotmyself
-CryMoreFmls
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-Ikickgingers
-perdix
-Bastard
-TheIsland
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-Welshite

flockz's page activity

Visits<b>pjpeej13</b> - 8 hours ago<b>helloman5</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 1:23am<b>izkiz</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 5:23pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 12:50am<b>Blaisey</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 11:26pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 3:15pm<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 1:34am<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 9:42pm<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:29pm<b>wildhorseman</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm<b>polobeast</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 5:18pm<b>Sonotsuave</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 11:59pm<b>Aspyr</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 5:56pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 6:58pm<b>rachgrrr19</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 5:35pm<b>Derpulous</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 11:31pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 8:31pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 9:39pm

Liked!<b>papygeorges</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 11:09am<b>RageWolf16</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:09pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 3:42am<b>wannabefratguy94</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 6:07pm<b>Iamnotmyself</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:38am

flockz's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of flockz's badges

flockz's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40876) - you deserved it (26882) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

#14518129
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27558) - you deserved it (5365)

On 01/09/2011 at 5:18am - intimacy - by S - Singapore

Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML

#14365542
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28197) - you deserved it (7354)

On 12/28/2010 at 2:44am - intimacy - by sealy (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to see more of his passionate side. He pushed my head down towards his lap. FML

#13945313
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25179) - you deserved it (12665)

On 11/23/2010 at 1:50am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, b*tch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

#13827261
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12595) - you deserved it (51736)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML

#13774014
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34759) - you deserved it (3481)

On 11/09/2010 at 2:51am - intimacy - by secretdoll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

#13167367
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12208) - you deserved it (44798)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:01am - misc - by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

#12959324
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20449) - you deserved it (30061)

On 09/08/2010 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dom - United States

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46982) - you deserved it (14828)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

#12595665
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32491) - you deserved it (16548)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Photagrapher - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

#12143188
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34823) - you deserved it (15261)

On 07/27/2010 at 10:43am - intimacy - by lonelyguy321 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

#12139792
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31871) - you deserved it (4641)

On 07/27/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by Marie - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

#11281809
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11006) - you deserved it (51273)

On 06/18/2010 at 1:42am - health - by emilygreeny - United States

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

#10414091
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39188) - you deserved it (3237)

On 05/08/2010 at 6:07am - intimacy - by notmydad. (woman) - Philippines (Manila)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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Friday 27 February 2015

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