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flockz

Offline (the 07/19/2015 at 9:56pm) | Search for a member

flockz

27Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 September 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 14730
  • Number of comments : 2058
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 60 posted

About flockz : i'm a dick. are you offended by me? aw sorry ouch FYL for sure. dump me then sue me. you deserve better. shit happens.
sirinz.org (best FML comments)

not giving a fuck is an art.

Favorite FMLers:
-Iamnotmyself
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-perdix
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flockz's page activity

Visits<b>chuka81</b> - 4 hours ago<b>The12thPaladin</b> - yesterday at 12:00pm<b>TheAspieDork</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 11:12pm<b>jesswoo</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:32pm<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:05pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 1:32pm<b>twitchywaffles</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 12:46am<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 11:25pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 4:35pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 12:44pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 9:53am<b>nekozzzz</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 9:16am<b>tintarroja</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 9:40pm<b>Cyntha</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 11:40pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 3:28pm<b>Frozen_Flames</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 6:19am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:29am<b>whysobeachy</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 11:52pm

Fucked!<b>twitchywaffles</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 6:46am<b>tintarroja</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 3:40am<b>Cyntha</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 5:41am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 6:30am<b>arano</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 12:38am<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 5:48am<b>DEATHLORD</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 7:49pm<b>quazimozart</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 12:47am<b>nezumii</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 8:32pm<b>patts_</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 9:23pm<b>lagreeni</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 6:00am<b>pookleberry</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:22am<b>Ragatyme</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:41am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 10:21pm<b>S13rra01257</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 4:10am<b>XmasaX</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 3:50am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:44am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 7:12pm

flockz's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of flockz's badges

flockz's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44334) - you deserved it (28254) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

#14518129
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29613) - you deserved it (5587)

On 01/09/2011 at 5:18am - intimacy - by S - Singapore

Today, I was told I sound like a seal barking when I orgasm. FML

#14365542
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30355) - you deserved it (7624)

On 12/28/2010 at 2:44am - intimacy - by sealy (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to see more of his passionate side. He pushed my head down towards his lap. FML

#13945313
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28823) - you deserved it (13602)

On 11/23/2010 at 1:50am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

#13827261
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13622) - you deserved it (54256)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML

#13774014
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38789) - you deserved it (3828)

On 11/09/2010 at 2:51am - intimacy - by secretdoll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

#13167367
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14130) - you deserved it (48588)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:01am - misc - by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

#12959324
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23127) - you deserved it (32624)

On 09/08/2010 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dom - United States

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50277) - you deserved it (15498)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

#12595665
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35589) - you deserved it (17317)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Photagrapher - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

#12143188
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38587) - you deserved it (16145)

On 07/27/2010 at 10:43am - intimacy - by lonelyguy321 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

#12139792
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35427) - you deserved it (4970)

On 07/27/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by Marie - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

#11281809
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12734) - you deserved it (55092)

On 06/18/2010 at 1:42am - health - by emilygreeny - United States

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

#10414091
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42486) - you deserved it (3520)

On 05/08/2010 at 6:07am - intimacy - by notmydad. (woman) - Philippines (Manila)



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