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flockz

Offline (the 07/19/2015 at 9:56pm) | Search for a member

flockz

27Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 September 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 14720
  • Number of comments : 2058
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 60 posted

About flockz : i'm a dick. are you offended by me? aw sorry ouch FYL for sure. dump me then sue me. you deserve better. shit happens.
sirinz.org (best FML comments)

not giving a fuck is an art.

Favorite FMLers:
-Iamnotmyself
-CryMoreFmls
-iAmScrubs
-Ikickgingers
-perdix
-Bastard
-TheIsland
-The_A_Teen
-Welshite

flockz's page activity

Visits<b>The12thPaladin</b> - 20 hours ago<b>TheAspieDork</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 11:12pm<b>jesswoo</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:32pm<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:05pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 1:32pm<b>twitchywaffles</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 12:46am<b>Pokefinch27</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 11:25pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 4:35pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 12:44pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 9:53am<b>nekozzzz</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 9:16am<b>tintarroja</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 9:40pm<b>Cyntha</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 11:40pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 3:28pm<b>Frozen_Flames</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 6:19am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 12:29am<b>whysobeachy</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 11:52pm<b>l4urenz</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 12:44pm

Fucked!<b>twitchywaffles</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 6:46am<b>tintarroja</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 3:40am<b>Cyntha</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 5:41am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 6:30am<b>arano</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 12:38am<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 5:48am<b>DEATHLORD</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 7:49pm<b>quazimozart</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 12:47am<b>nezumii</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 8:32pm<b>patts_</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 9:23pm<b>lagreeni</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 6:00am<b>pookleberry</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:22am<b>Ragatyme</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:41am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 10:21pm<b>S13rra01257</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 4:10am<b>XmasaX</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 3:50am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:44am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 7:12pm

flockz's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of flockz's badges

flockz's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

#16611980
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43700) - you deserved it (5401)

On 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by Mom (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML

#16608434
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43484) - you deserved it (3111)

On 06/11/2011 at 9:06am - health - by sickbaby (woman) - Singapore

Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML

#16461868
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34076) - you deserved it (17880)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend told me how she loves when I kiss her out of the blue. I don't have the heart to admit I only do it so I can get some peace and quiet for a few seconds. FML

#16429286
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18720) - you deserved it (37470)

On 05/31/2011 at 12:51am - love - by romantic84 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

#16271302
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43543) - you deserved it (4451)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36609) - you deserved it (21995)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

#16101317
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45392) - you deserved it (18463)

On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend of four months home for dinner to meet my parents. The first thing my mom says to her? "Oh my God, you're real!" FML

#16051471
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39768) - you deserved it (4737)

On 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Charlie (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML

#15974140
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48477) - you deserved it (3628)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

#15932623
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23275) - you deserved it (50034)

On 04/26/2011 at 9:56am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21382) - you deserved it (70254)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML

#15574334
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22236) - you deserved it (24026)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

#15555726
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42404) - you deserved it (9923)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States

Today, I saw my mom run across the house naked for a condom. FML

#14849779
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55146) - you deserved it (4063)

On 02/05/2011 at 7:02am - misc - by bob - United States (Arizona)

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16080) - you deserved it (39745) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins



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