Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fitup77

Online | Search for a member

fitup77

9Fucked!

fitup77
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2299
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

fitup77's page activity

Visits<b>steve1122</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:32am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 1:37am<b>Jinxsie</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 9:51pm<b>rockwrench</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 4:33pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 4:28pm<b>vimmy77</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:15pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:50am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 7:49am<b>cokeman666</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 4:16am<b>natebrown</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 4:04am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 4:04am<b>Mc_Knapkins</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:57am<b>spatula232</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:52am<b>patts_</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:49am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:43am<b>muffinspoon</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:34am<b>ReinGF</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:13am<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:11am

Fucked!<b>Mc_Knapkins</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 9:57am<b>Hildy93</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 9:03am<b>gary8082</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 8:55am<b>straightupaiden</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 8:17am<b>Corey122726</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:27am<b>Batlocirapter</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:16am<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 6:08am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 10:53pm

fitup77's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of fitup77's badges

fitup77's favorite FMLs

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

#21397916
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25963) - you deserved it (1888)

On 04/22/2015 at 11:44am - work - by cock blocked (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML

#21395300
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27599) - you deserved it (3358)

On 04/17/2015 at 4:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

#21394468
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30340) - you deserved it (4815)

On 04/16/2015 at 1:04am - intimacy - by Evra (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking with my mother. As we went to say goodbye, she said "I love you". Out of habit of saying I love you to my girlfriend, I said, "Love you too babe". FML

Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML

#21387249
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28917) - you deserved it (3262)

On 04/03/2015 at 9:57pm - intimacy - by lameows - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML

#21382684
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31945) - you deserved it (1927)

On 03/27/2015 at 10:12pm - love - by biblepain - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

#21382528
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24253) - you deserved it (5313)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:19pm - work - by screwedupfuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I managed to take an entire shower without realizing my socks were on. I washed my feet. FML

#21382179
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22353) - you deserved it (8733)

On 03/26/2015 at 11:28pm - misc - by comfort_ - United States (Georgia)

Today, an old lady was walking behind me. She tripped and started to fall, so naturally I turned and outstretched my arms to catch her, but was too late. A man turned just in time to see an old lady on the ground with me with my arms stretched out. I now have a black eye. FML

#21380543
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30435) - you deserved it (2184)

On 03/24/2015 at 2:58am - misc - by why me - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had my 18th birthday party. At midnight, three police officers showed up at my door and asked if they could look around. Were we doing anything bad? Nope. My friends suck at parking. Before they left, the officers said that this was the most toned down party they'd seen in years. FML

#21379703
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27157) - you deserved it (31)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:20pm - misc - by dicedicebaby - United States (Ohio)

Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML

#21379638
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24237) - you deserved it (7526)

On 03/22/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by waxer150 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

#21378332
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24911) - you deserved it (62)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:41am - love - by MirandaJones (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after telling my parents that I want to be a vegetarian, I got grounded. Apparently, "black people can't be vegetarians" and, I'm "crazy for even suggesting something like that." FML

#21378047
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32238) - you deserved it (4609)

On 03/19/2015 at 10:23pm - misc - by shawnsmuffins - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: