firstbasemaster

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Offline (the 10/03/2014 at 9:03pm)

firstbasemaster

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 May 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1378
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About firstbasemaster : Hey im tyler, i love baseball and meeting new people. Im 15 and single. Go ahead and message me. snapchat: tyler_brynds

firstbasemaster's page activity

Visits<b>LMAO_SM</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 2:16pm<b>psychoIogical</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 3:58pm<b>holyyfuck</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 6:42pm<b>immaloser95</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 5:17pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 2:57pm<b>DarkLink9001</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 7:43pm<b>ItzMarsh</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 11:43am<b>Llamanator9913</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:15am<b>TheRugMan</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 6:32pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Paulcs</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 9:02pm<b>wondercat40</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 8:56am<b>superfreak6</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 9:54am<b>Fia315</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 8:01pm<b>bloreau</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 3:16am<b>beardownarizona</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 6:38pm<b>katiebug2968</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 12:07am

Fucked!<b>bloreau</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:19pm<b>katiebug2968</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:08am<b>44LynnLynn</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 11:09pm<b>tylerbrynds</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:48am<b>SuperCaroline131</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:07am

firstbasemaster's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of firstbasemaster's badges

firstbasemaster's favorite FMLs

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Intimacy

Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I placed an order at a fast food joint, when the elderly lady behind me cussed me out for ordering the same thing she wanted. She ranted that I was a "dirty thief", while everyone else glared at me as if I was holding up the line. What the fuck? FML

by dirtythief / 07/18/2013 at 12:01pm / Philippines (Batangas) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

by ugh / 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Intimacy

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

by idk ask freud / 07/04/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 1:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 11:55am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML

by Lockedinroom / 02/05/2013 at 11:18am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

by Grant / 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm / United States / Kids

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 6:16am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML

by theslutmuncher / 12/14/2012 at 6:20pm / Germany (Sachsen-Anhalt) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous