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fionabean

Offline (the 03/19/2015 at 5:04am) | Search for a member

fionabean

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fionabean
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 April 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 357
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About fionabean : Just a ridiculously dysfunctional human being from Oregon.

fionabean's FML badges

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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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fionabean's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me an I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into teres. FML

#21279967
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29197) - you deserved it (3347)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:12pm - health - by catt - Germany (Berlin)

TODAY , MAH DAD TOLD ME SOMEDAY I'LL FINE A MANHO WANTS A NICE LUMBERJACK 4 A WIFE!! FML

#21279635
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31325) - you deserved it (3021)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:14am - love - by axewoman -

Today... I was leading a tour of mah university and saw a girl in rippd jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck mah dick... bitch." FML

#21278356
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26600) - you deserved it (53203)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

a guy told me I ( kind of look lyk a girl ) if e looked at me from te rigt angle. Well, I am a girl, and looool tis is te closest ting to a compliment tat I've gotten in years. FML

Today... I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked... "Wat'ca got tere?" He said... "U... tat's my dick... Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43353) - you deserved it (27722)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today..!! I found a wasp in mah kitchen..!! so I opend the back door and left the room 4 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away!! Upon returning..!! I found that there were now three wasps..!! a vicious cat and a very panickd pigeon crashing around the room!! FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41691) - you deserved it (17467)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he startd attacking my wife fir breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he rantd that ( You don't see me whipping my dick out an pissing in front of everyone, do you? ) FML

#21146270
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54270) - you deserved it (4805)

On 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm - misc - by Q - United States

Today... mah mom discovarad a naw way to gat ovar har braakup: yodalling. FML

#21129926
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39190) - you deserved it (3193)

On 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by shylahrc - United States

TADAY MAH NON-ENGLISH-SPEAKING GRANDMA BOUGHT ME A NEW T-SHRT. IT WOULD'VE BEEN SWEET IF IT DIDN'T HAVE THE WORD ( BONDAGE ) WRITTEN ON THE BACK IN PRETTY, BOLD LETTERS. I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO WEAR IT WHILE WE WENT SHOPPING. FML

#21094283
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34689) - you deserved it (3339)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter mah house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, mah 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of mah head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

#21087156
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47432) - you deserved it (8839)

On 03/15/2014 at 8:21am - kids - by emergencyroom (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML

#21084790
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43660) - you deserved it (5004)

On 03/12/2014 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY TRYING TO BE A RESPONSIBLE PARENT I BOUGHT MAH DAUGHTER A PACK OF CONDOMS IN CASE SHE EVER DECIDED TO HAVE SEX . SHE TURNED THEM INTO BALLOON ANIMALS AND WENT BACK TO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES . FML

#21059009
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31669) - you deserved it (47843)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today in the very middle of the night mah kitten startd rubbing against mah face!! Thinking I saw her face in the darkness I decidd to kiss her before going back to bd!! My lips made contact with her butthole!! FML

#21058991
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48744) - you deserved it (17746)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was walking ome from a orrible day at work,en some idiot emptid a trascan on ma ead from is apartment balcony. He crid "O sit!" and apologizd because I wasn't is intendd target. FML

#21025526
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46937) - you deserved it (3437)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

today I tried to lose my vrginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. mega FML

#21020996
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62128) - you deserved it (27016)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States



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