Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fenixincendium

Search for a member

fenixincendium
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 53
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

fenixincendium's last visitors

brooke_lalainecutycat136

fenixincendium's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of fenixincendium's badges

fenixincendium's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53744) - you deserved it (22266)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, marks my fifth day being an English teacher's assistant. I spent it like the other four days: grading and editing terrible Teen Wolf, One Direction and Doctor Who high school fan-fiction. Six months until I get out of here. FML

#20987358
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36957) - you deserved it (5591)

On 12/10/2013 at 2:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42748) - you deserved it (3613)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34844) - you deserved it (9500)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51653) - you deserved it (4249)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

#19911168
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52317) - you deserved it (2240)

On 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm - love - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was conducting interviews and I could tell this particular candidate was really nervous, so I was extra nice. At the end, he was reluctant to shake my hand. On the way out I realised why: I had lost the top button on my low cut top, and he was nursing his appreciation of the view. FML

#13153381
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19430) - you deserved it (7233)

On 09/22/2010 at 4:49am - work - by pizzacat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML

#6100945
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32014) - you deserved it (5582)

On 11/01/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: