feedmankeynow

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Offline (the 08/10/2014 at 8:30am)

feedmankeynow

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 September 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3730
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About feedmankeynow : .

feedmankeynow's page activity

Visits<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:58am<b>Nicky816</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 10:35am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 10:46am<b>Kanter</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:16am<b>gracehi</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 1:28pm<b>Conn3ct</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 7:25am<b>ayoanya</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 8:47pm<b>haleyc44</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 11:07pm<b>adultchild</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 2:26pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 1:30pm<b>suri_mf</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 11:57am<b>mario2012</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 6:35am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 4:25pm<b>danielcontreras</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 2:17pm<b>kspear2</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 7:49am<b>utterness303</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 10:38pm<b>iammeorami</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 10:32pm<b>IsjnI</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 9:03am

feedmankeynow's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of feedmankeynow's badges

feedmankeynow's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML

by Come on / 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

by LaLa / 01/09/2012 at 12:01am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

by YOURMOM / 12/31/2011 at 2:24am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML

by me / 12/19/2011 at 10:53pm / United States / Work

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

by Grubendol / 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I chipped a tooth trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. FML

by yollew / 11/25/2011 at 1:27am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML

by Stinky / 11/20/2011 at 5:23am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

by Tyler / 11/19/2011 at 3:05am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

by weswithaute / 11/13/2011 at 1:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2011 at 9:21pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML

by Tom / 11/01/2011 at 1:01am / United States / Love

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

by yum yogurt / 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

by last literate / 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work