feedmankeynow

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Offline (the 08/10/2014 at 8:30am)

feedmankeynow

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 September 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4165
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About feedmankeynow : .

feedmankeynow's page activity

Visits<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:58am<b>Nicky816</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 10:35am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 10:46am<b>Kanter</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:16am<b>gracehi</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 1:28pm<b>Conn3ct</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 7:25am<b>ayoanya</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 8:47pm<b>haleyc44</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 11:07pm<b>adultchild</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 2:26pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 1:30pm<b>suri_mf</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 11:57am<b>mario2012</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 6:35am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 4:25pm<b>danielcontreras</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 2:17pm<b>kspear2</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 7:49am<b>utterness303</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 10:38pm<b>iammeorami</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 10:32pm<b>IsjnI</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 9:03am

feedmankeynow's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of feedmankeynow's badges

feedmankeynow's favorite FMLs

Today, I was bragging about how I had lost 10 pounds. Grinning, I pulled my shirt up and tried to show how big my jeans were on me. Instead, the button flew off my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 6:32am / United States / Health

Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML

by Becca / 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to put my bra on. FML

by anniemeece / 04/07/2012 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my morning sickness decided to show itself every time I smell coffee. I work at a coffee shop. FML

by GothicAngel17 / 04/06/2012 at 9:52pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML

by spanishsucks / 03/31/2012 at 11:01pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML

by yelyah / 03/29/2012 at 12:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

by purple / 03/24/2012 at 1:30am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML

by vanorav / 03/17/2012 at 10:41pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

by thatchick3333 / 03/08/2012 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

by fingerhut / 03/03/2012 at 3:27am / United States (California) / Health

Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML

by kal / 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2012 at 12:45pm / Miscellaneous

Today, some guy hit my car and then threatened to sue me for "parking my car in such a way that it was impossible not to hit it." My car was in the driveway. FML

by dreefsa / 02/05/2012 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Transportation