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feedmankeynow's favorite FMLs
by Rachael / 11/30/2012 at 2:29am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Tymer / 11/23/2012 at 10:56am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
by Anonymous / 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML
by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm / United States (New York) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 6:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
by anon / 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
by spiderwoman / 11/04/2012 at 12:12pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Animals
by Obi1Shinobi / 10/30/2012 at 10:27am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML
by Nice Guy / 10/29/2012 at 3:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by buccaneer / 10/23/2012 at 12:26pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML
by ktreens / 10/19/2012 at 12:06am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML
by embarrassed / 10/08/2012 at 5:12am / Australia (South Australia) / Love
by thatwas10yearsago / 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…