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feedmankeynow's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML
by stillfuckingcrying / 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm / Sweden (Kalmar Lan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML
by omgstuupidd / 02/17/2013 at 9:27am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
by go snope yourself / 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by airbiscuit / 01/21/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/07/2013 at 6:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, after I finally laid down from a long day and was about to fall asleep, I realized I forgot to set my alarm. I don't own an alarm clock and my alarm is on my phone. Which was in my car. I live on 15th floor of an apartment building and our parking garage is across the street. FML
by Anonymous / 01/03/2013 at 12:02am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by gassy / 12/29/2012 at 4:32am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML
by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by SpanishInFrenchClass / 12/06/2012 at 12:35am / United States / Work
by poopsthegame / 12/03/2012 at 2:36am / United States (Hawaii) / Transportation
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…
- Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off,… Today, my girlfriend won't have sex with me. Why? Because my mii knocked out her mii in Wii boxing.… Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with. I'm not really interested in him, so I rushed out…