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Offline (the 08/10/2014 at 8:30am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 September 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3850
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About feedmankeynow : .

feedmankeynow's page activity

Visits<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:58am<b>Nicky816</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 10:35am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 10:46am<b>Kanter</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:16am<b>gracehi</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 1:28pm<b>Conn3ct</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 7:25am<b>ayoanya</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 8:47pm<b>haleyc44</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 11:07pm<b>adultchild</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 2:26pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 1:30pm<b>suri_mf</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 11:57am<b>mario2012</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 6:35am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 4:25pm<b>danielcontreras</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 2:17pm<b>kspear2</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 7:49am<b>utterness303</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 10:38pm<b>iammeorami</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 10:32pm<b>IsjnI</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 9:03am

feedmankeynow's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of feedmankeynow's badges

feedmankeynow's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on my first date. Everything went great until I went to brush my date's hair over her ear like they do in the movies. I poked her dead in the eye. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 10:55pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm / New Zealand / Transportation

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

by reyoflight / 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

by thanks gramps / 04/19/2013 at 3:27am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

by lamelifeguard / 04/19/2013 at 1:07am / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2013 at 5:02pm / Bulgaria (Sofiya) / Health

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

by phonesmuggler / 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

by KatiRozz1 / 04/17/2013 at 1:40pm / United Kingdom (Middlesbrough) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML

by Me / 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

by fatmom / 04/10/2013 at 9:26am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Kids

Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2013 at 5:06am / United States / Animals

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2013 at 4:30am / Work

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 5:17am / United States / Kids

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

by SayCheese / 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous