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feedmankeynow's favorite FMLs
by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 10:55pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm / New Zealand / Transportation
by reyoflight / 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm / Brazil (Rio de Janeiro) / Kids
Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML
by thanks gramps / 04/19/2013 at 3:27am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Miscellaneous
by lamelifeguard / 04/19/2013 at 1:07am / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 04/18/2013 at 5:02pm / Bulgaria (Sofiya) / Health
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
by phonesmuggler / 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by KatiRozz1 / 04/17/2013 at 1:40pm / United Kingdom (Middlesbrough) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML
by Me / 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm / United States (California) / Kids
by fatmom / 04/10/2013 at 9:26am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Kids
Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML
by Anonymous / 04/10/2013 at 5:06am / United States / Animals
Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML
by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 5:17am / United States / Kids
by SayCheese / 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…