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Offline (the 03/23/2016 at 1:31pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 November 1978 (37 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1272
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fbcclaire's page activity

Visits<b>Devin143</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 10:10am<b>maydayyparade</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 11:11pm<b>Seashells77</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 9:59pm<b>pliskon_snake</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 2:42am<b>TheMorgue</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 12:04pm<b>the_rad_brad47</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 4:06am<b>FatKitty</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 11:07pm<b>omnombru</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 4:42pm<b>ElmoSaysSquishy</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 9:07am<b>dariboy</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 12:08am<b>Sh4dey</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 9:25pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 9:10pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 8:09pm<b>shelbzlynn</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 4:52pm<b>TallyFtw69</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 9:45am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 4:58am<b>nicehotcupoftea</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 3:40am<b>daken96</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 2:50am

Fucked!<b>pliskon_snake</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 8:42am<b>daken96</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 8:50am

fbcclaire's FML badges

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

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fbcclaire's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML

by lambeaster / 01/20/2016 at 9:27am / United States (District of Columbia) / Kids

Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML

by Bex98 / 01/11/2016 at 3:17am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

by SaintGoobers / 10/06/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

by fuck you, tasha / 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I had to awkwardly grab my pink dildo after my husband's friend asked what it was that my dog was chewing on. FML

by Sara777boo / 08/16/2014 at 2:43pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

by polebitch49 / 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

by begging for air / 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML

by lavenderpiss / 12/15/2013 at 9:04pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend bought a onesie. He sleeps in it, goes out in it and won't take it off, not even for sex. FML

by BabeWithBrains / 12/08/2013 at 2:01pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

by possibly a sweater / 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML

by KarateKid76 / 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

by Awkward / 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

by fuck my eyeballs / 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML

by squirts / 11/26/2013 at 11:42pm / Miscellaneous