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fattu4554

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fattu4554
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  • Number of visits : 548
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fattu4554's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

#21001267
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45763) - you deserved it (6272)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by bleach bleach bleach (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot. FML

#20990683
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44790) - you deserved it (2569)

On 12/12/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by justin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML

#20990341
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46325) - you deserved it (2590)

On 12/12/2013 at 4:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, my grandkids went around my house claiming items to inherit. FML

#20984796
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45953) - you deserved it (3101)

On 12/08/2013 at 8:19am - kids - by blah! - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

#20977282
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43180) - you deserved it (19271)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I reduced my psychologist to tears. FML

#20976567
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39775) - you deserved it (3435)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41431) - you deserved it (3054)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML

#18153608
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28472) - you deserved it (6308)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:29am - love - by fmlifer - United States (California)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60357) - you deserved it (4435)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

#18128656
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44925) - you deserved it (5189)

On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML

#18121591
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28504) - you deserved it (2934)

On 10/31/2011 at 4:06pm - love - by poopcoloredeyes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

#18112620
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22569) - you deserved it (15016)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by yum yogurt - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47149) - you deserved it (3112)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34811) - you deserved it (30430)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, the only person to wish me a Happy Valentine's day was a wrong number calling my cell phone. FML

#14981056
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28603) - you deserved it (3367)

On 02/14/2011 at 10:07pm - love - by moe (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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