This member hasn't filled in their description.
fantita495's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
fantita495's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by gettinghotinhere / 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by jake / 08/12/2014 at 6:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML
by FML / 07/24/2014 at 11:59am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by fleatitting fame / 07/04/2014 at 5:30pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love
Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML
by latinalocks / 06/20/2014 at 12:59am / United States / Work
Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML
by Anonymous / 06/06/2014 at 6:44pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
by 5p4571k / 05/25/2014 at 1:35pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by FallCameEarly / 02/27/2014 at 1:21am / United States (California) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy
by DocShadow / 12/03/2013 at 12:33pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my parents told me they'd be willing to pay for me to get a nose job. I asked them what was wrong with my nose, and they said nothing, it's just not the kind of nose they'd prefer to feature in our Christmas photos. FML
by UglyFace / 11/30/2013 at 5:46pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML
by fuggers :/ / 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Work
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
by smooth / 11/21/2013 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous
by clodius / 11/20/2013 at 1:25pm / United Kingdom (North Lanarkshire) / Intimacy
- Today, I was helping my friend move into a new apartment. As we were carrying his table up a flight… Today, despite being in a dead marriage, I realized the only reason I'm not leaving my husband is… Today, at work, because I have been having bowel problems I sat longer than normal on the toilet. I…