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famoush's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
famoush's favorite FMLs
Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 12:40am / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
by 117halo12345 / 12/17/2015 at 4:37pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
by MyLifeSucksSoHar / 10/30/2015 at 9:49pm / United States (Florida) / Money
Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML
by BarhydtBran / 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, an older lady approached me at work and stroked my hair, telling me it was 'beautiful'. This isn't unusual, I'm a natural redhead and octogenarians especially seem to love the colour. However, the unusual part was the glob of snot she left in my hair from her unwashed hands. FML
by gingerwhinger / 08/05/2015 at 7:24pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML
by ahhh / 08/03/2015 at 2:06am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by thatguy8878 / 06/26/2015 at 4:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML
by kash / 06/01/2015 at 2:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by kysier / 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work
by Proposal Fail / 01/01/2015 at 12:47am / United States (New York) / Love
by aprouddaddy / 12/04/2014 at 6:46pm / Kids
Today, I was walking down the street holding my boyfriend's hand, when a seemingly sweet old man said to him, "Hey, you've got to hold her hand properly". I asked him to show me what properly meant. He licked my hand. FML
by peak4u / 10/09/2014 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Love
by whywouldyoudothat / 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
by danceinconverse / 09/23/2014 at 2:04pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
by mom / 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
- Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…