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falafels's favorite FMLs
by mannydanny / 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML
by Username / 08/04/2011 at 2:47pm / United States / Work
by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health
Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML
by kaleigh / 05/31/2011 at 1:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by rioght onnn / 05/20/2011 at 3:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 04/25/2011 at 1:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by wtfisthisworldcomingto / 04/25/2011 at 8:11am / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the grocery store with my mom's boyfriend. We were in the bread aisle when he picked up a loaf that was in my hand, and said, "No, no, you have to FEEL the bread," and started rubbing it all over his body. He's moving in next week. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 12:39pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 2:28am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML
by Anonymous / 09/18/2010 at 10:41am / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Transportation
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
by spriggs / 07/25/2010 at 5:06am / United States (California) / Health
by squishy / 02/10/2010 at 7:07pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Funnymann / 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the beach with my friend for vacation. We were playing Marco Polo in the ocean and I was Marco. I thought I heard my friend, so I lunged forward and grabbed her. Too bad it wasn't my friend, it was an old guy in a pink speedo, and I grabbed his butt. FML
by yoyo22 / 12/05/2009 at 4:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a strip tease for… Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up… Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more…