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falafels
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  • Number of visits : 354
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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falafels's favorite FMLs

Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

#17999888
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28617) - you deserved it (5646) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm - work - by Mayabie - France

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31997) - you deserved it (4152)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML

#17367681
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9636) - you deserved it (18963)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:47pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35144) - you deserved it (15379)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML

#16435033
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33612) - you deserved it (8884)

On 05/31/2011 at 1:01pm - misc - by kaleigh - United States

Today, while working at a restaurant, an elderly lady stuck my tip in my back pocket as I was walking away. I wish I knew this before I'd thrown her to the floor for touching my hiney. FML

#16268137
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12391) - you deserved it (37463)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:38pm - work - by rioght onnn - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was running a marathon. I stopped to massage my stiff legs, when an elderly spectator taunted, "Oohhh yeah, that's it! Massage those legs good, boy!" She looked about 70. FML

#15919634
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25651) - you deserved it (4259)

On 04/25/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML

#15917217
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30930) - you deserved it (6608)

On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -

Today, I went to the grocery store with my mom's boyfriend. We were in the bread aisle when he picked up a loaf that was in my hand, and said, "No, no, you have to FEEL the bread," and started rubbing it all over his body. He's moving in next week. FML

#14589088
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23721) - you deserved it (2333)

On 01/15/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

#13481671
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18445) - you deserved it (24608)

On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

#13097397
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15927) - you deserved it (22821)

On 09/18/2010 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10613) - you deserved it (105578)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 4-year-old niece told me she likes it when I'm around because I'm "squishy and smell like fried chicken all the time." FML

#8099934
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8788) - you deserved it (20229)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by squishy - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

#7501218
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34106) - you deserved it (2645)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States

Today, I was at the beach with my friend for vacation. We were playing Marco Polo in the ocean and I was Marco. I thought I heard my friend, so I lunged forward and grabbed her. Too bad it wasn't my friend, it was an old guy in a pink speedo, and I grabbed his butt. FML

#6618449
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18018) - you deserved it (6535)

On 12/05/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by yoyo22 - United States



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