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faerieonacid

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faerieonacid
  • Town/Country : The Netherlands
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 251
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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faerieonacid's favorite FMLs

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54386) - you deserved it (10838)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

#20712090
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61157) - you deserved it (8471)

On 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by what the fuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

#20711923
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44531) - you deserved it (4695)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months moved in to my apartment. I had never been to his place because his roommate was a drug addict, so it came as quite a surprise when he brought three taxidermied cats with him, insisting that I let him mount them in the living room. FML

#20711674
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34529) - you deserved it (10296)

On 06/07/2013 at 1:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML

#20707121
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43370) - you deserved it (11623)

On 06/05/2013 at 5:46am - work - by WOWBear - United States (Arizona)

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80467) - you deserved it (7662)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my boyfriend lost his temper with me and complained that my "constant" apologies for upsetting him drive him insane, and without thinking, I said I was sorry. He hung up and I haven't heard from him since. FML

#20705829
171 comments

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

#20705783
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40790) - you deserved it (3612)

On 06/04/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by no booze, no boyfriend (woman) - United States

Today, on the drive to church, I got a nosebleed. Not so bad, until I sneezed and splattered myself and my fiancé with blood, snot, and eventually tears. FML

#20705510
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44928) - you deserved it (4077)

On 06/04/2013 at 1:53pm - love - by BloodyMarry (woman) - United States

Today, I had to walk home in the rain because my mom didn't want to get her new car wet. FML

#20705347
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52739) - you deserved it (3147)

On 06/04/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

#20705144
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74558) - you deserved it (3497)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:35am - health - by irishbubble (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28074) - you deserved it (60745)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not remembering our anniversary. Our three week anniversary. FML

#20702606
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56056) - you deserved it (6590)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:31am - love - by BadBoyfriend - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63170) - you deserved it (17992)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML

#20692668
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61859) - you deserved it (3260)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by :) - United States



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