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Offline (the 07/21/2016 at 7:12am)



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  • Number of visits : 4822
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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facelick's page activity

Visits<b>MikaykayUnicorn</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 12:35am<b>deathrise007</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 3:28pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 9:25pm<b>hezck</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 11:25pm<b>XxDanno316xX</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 6:06pm<b>gregjasper</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 6:27pm<b>melons</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 2:09pm<b>queensassygoat</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:44pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 10:52am<b>girI</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 7:54am<b>andy594328</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 9:20am<b>MrConcise</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 3:03pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 9:33pm<b>cmchappy</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 6:23pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 1:15pm<b>Ryan777777777</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:25am<b>Cassandra2015</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 5:13pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 9:53pm

Fucked!<b>melons</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 8:09pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 4:52pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 9:20pm

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facelick's favorite FMLs

Today, a stranger nearly beat the crap out of my boyfriend for being a pedo. I ended up showing the guy my driving license to prove I'm not a pre-teen and that I'm just freakishly young looking. FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2016 at 12:38pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I nearly got shitcanned for falling asleep on the job. The only reason I was so dead tired was because my idiot roommates decided to get high last night and loudly argue for hours about stupid crap like "Is it gay to screw a clone of yourself?" I got less than 2 hours of sleep because of them. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2016 at 11:18pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, despite being in high school, I'm still shorter than the average 3rd grader. FML

by forever_young / 05/13/2016 at 9:03am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend of 2 years, I was backing out of his driveway when he came running out yelling "STOP!" I thought he wanted to make up so I kept going, until I'd run over his dog. FML

by itsnotyouitsme / 04/20/2016 at 2:54pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2016 at 3:46pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was on my run, running past the home of the very attractive guy in my English class. This time he was outside. As I was running I casually waved, he waved back, but because I was distracted, I didn't notice a rock on the sidewalk and ended up tripping and pantsing myself. FML

by TipsyTj / 03/29/2016 at 9:05am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love

Today, my family and I were laying on my parents' bed watching a movie. My dad wrapped his arm around me and began rubbing my shoulder. That would have been fine, if it actually had been my shoulder and not my boob. Needless to say, we were both mortified. FML

by ScarredDaughter / 03/29/2016 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I just came back from Afghanistan after a 9-month tour, and my brother asked, "How many towelheads did you kill?" He then acted offended when I smacked him upside the head. FML

by I hate my brother / 03/20/2016 at 2:53pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

by leahrb / 02/24/2016 at 1:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tutored a third grade girl after school. She was squirming so much I thought she had to go to the bathroom. Turns out, she was just masturbating on the corner of a school chair. FML

by Katie1921 / 02/08/2016 at 9:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, barely 2 hours into a 5 hour car ride home, my mom accidentally let slip that she's been cheating on my dad. I had to sit with the bitch in a diner for ages while my dad bawled his eyes out alone in the car. FML

by Anonymous / 02/07/2016 at 1:11am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, my psycho-obsessed ex-girlfriend blabbed all about how she got a check in the mail for $1000 from CrimeStoppers on Facebook and Twitter. This explains how my current girlfriend and two of my friends all got arrested last week for having weed. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2016 at 5:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

by :x / 02/03/2016 at 10:40am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, while I was taking a shower, my boyfriend came into the bathroom to ask me a question. When I got out of the shower, I was greeted with a horrifying cutout of Michael Jackson. I fell backwards, shattering the glass shower door. I needed stitches. FML

by Shy_Shiloh / 01/21/2016 at 3:58am / United States (Ohio) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.