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Offline (the 07/12/2016 at 9:51pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 June 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4538
  • Number of comments : 270
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About expertsmilee : Gamer at heart, more feelings than most guys, make love not war.

expertsmilee's page activity

Visits<b>swervelol</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 12:44pm<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 12:14pm<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:04am<b>Infamous_Pickle</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 5:37pm<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 2:36pm<b>Snip_Snap</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 3:02pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 3:45pm<b>klutzyduck1</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 10:35am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 5:43am<b>shavednipples</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 3:20am<b>weedle99</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 11:31am<b>Celion91</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 9:38am<b>Rababco</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 3:47pm<b>benjamins39</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 12:38am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 06/02/2016 at 3:15am<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 8:59pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 6:34pm<b>blaze17</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 6:14pm

Fucked!<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 9:45pm<b>Celion91</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 3:38pm<b>blaze17</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 12:14am<b>spinster5</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 10:06am<b>rreyes0051</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 2:38am<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 9:38am<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 6:17am<b>Sansa_Kroma</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 4:23am<b>MrGodface</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 2:55am<b>eski2015</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 12:39am<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 11:43am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 4:40am<b>ginnyboo</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 4:44am<b>hi_im_ughlee</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 4:06am<b>nityasomaiya</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 10:17am<b>orios105</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 10:10am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 2:53am<b>twister45</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 4:42pm

expertsmilee's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of expertsmilee's badges

expertsmilee's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my new upstairs neighbors. They have a four month old child and appear to be firm believers in the "let them cry it out" philosophy. The baby's room is right above mine. A few days of trying to sleep through this shit and I'll look like a Walking Dead extra. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2016 at 8:17am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2016 at 9:01am / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 4-year-old son is distraught. This morning we saw a man, dressed as Santa, passed out drunk on a public bench. My son is now convinced that it was his corpse, and that Santa Claus is dead. FML

by donguigeek / 12/23/2015 at 11:32pm / France / Kids

Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2015 at 10:48am / India (Maharashtra) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband came home from a six-month business trip. When I saw him, I hugged and kissed him. My grandma started calling me a slutty whore, and told us we were a disgrace to our family, while trying to hit him with her cane. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2015 at 11:04pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

by snortingspunk / 12/03/2015 at 7:52am / South Africa / Intimacy

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

by ohgodwhyfml / 11/28/2015 at 9:32am / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation

Today, I started dreaming about being at work. I already work more hours a week than I requested, and I live right across from my work and can see it out my window. I can never leave. FML

by helpme / 11/23/2015 at 12:00pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, my boyfriend canceled our date last-minute. He claimed he had no time because he had to iron his towels. FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2015 at 6:40am / Austria (Wien) / Love

Today, as I had a chat with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends, one of them had brought up my boyfriend's son and his other child who was due any day now. The conversation would have went well, had I known that he had a son and a pregnant girlfriend. FML

by I Know How to Pick'em / 11/16/2015 at 7:25am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I received the honorary title of "student of the month," because I'm the only quiet kid during class. Truth is, I just have no friends. I was given an award for being socially awkward. FML

by AlwaysAfraid / 10/23/2015 at 6:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent two hours researching ways to fake my death, just so I can escape my crazy, overbearing stalker of a mum. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2015 at 4:17am / Australia / Love

Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2015 at 3:00am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML

by horp / 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic and trick me into missing my flight, so he could spend another day with me before I have to return to Asia for work. There is nothing romantic about spending 2 hours trying to sort out a new international itinerary with Delta's automated menus. FML