About expertsmilee : Gamer at heart, more feelings than most guys, make love not war.
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expertsmilee's favorite FMLs
by girlfromnowhere / 02/23/2016 at 6:06am / United Arab Emirates / Work
by almost broke / 02/21/2016 at 8:24am / Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj) / Money
by Anonymous / 02/21/2016 at 5:55am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Health
Today, I had to console my bawling 6-year-old son and explain that his sister was lying when she told him that when boys in our family turn 13, they turn into girls. I'm not sure who disappoints me more right now. FML
by jts / 02/20/2016 at 4:55am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by notonthepavement / 02/15/2016 at 6:04am / United States (Texas) / Health
by madisonnnnnn / 02/12/2016 at 8:38pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, while I was cleaning, listening to music and sometimes singing along, I heard a knock on my front door. I turned off the music and opened the door to the police, who stated they had to investigate reports of "repeated female screams" coming from my apartment. I'm a 23 year old man. FML
by Anonymous / 02/11/2016 at 7:15pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my aunt informed me that my dad thinks my boyfriend is a loser deadbeat because he hasn't proposed to me after two years of dating and co-habitation. He hasn't asked because I already made it very clear I have no interest in marriage. FML
by Anonymous / 02/10/2016 at 10:32am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I worked from home to actually be able to concentrate and make a presentation about my project. My boss then sends me a long email about how he wants us to work in the office, and how important it is for team building, giving me feelings of guilt for actually getting some work done. FML
by PhD student / 02/10/2016 at 6:57am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Work
by Septy / 01/21/2016 at 1:17pm / Spain (Andalucia) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/21/2016 at 8:40am / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy by text. I felt so betrayed, I stupidly tried to hurt her by replying that I'd been cheating on her all along with a hot babe. Turned out the dumping text was actually a prank by her friend. Now I'm single and everyone thinks I'm a cheater. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2016 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I met my new upstairs neighbors. They have a four month old child and appear to be firm believers in the "let them cry it out" philosophy. The baby's room is right above mine. A few days of trying to sleep through this shit and I'll look like a Walking Dead extra. FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2016 at 8:17am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML
by Anonymous / 01/03/2016 at 9:01am / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 4-year-old son is distraught. This morning we saw a man, dressed as Santa, passed out drunk on a public bench. My son is now convinced that it was his corpse, and that Santa Claus is dead. FML
by donguigeek / 12/23/2015 at 11:32pm / France / Kids
- Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over… Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach… Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML