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expertsmilee

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expertsmilee

30Fucked!

expertsmileeexpertsmilee
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 June 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2081
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About expertsmilee : Leedaleedaleedalee

expertsmilee's page activity

Visits<b>Malteser95</b> - 23 hours ago<b>Googolman</b> - 24 hours ago<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - yesterday at 5:50am<b>lyricalservant</b> - yesterday at 1:55am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 9:22pm<b>yosico22</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:35am<b>cherribomb</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 12:40pm<b>we_are_awsome</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:37pm<b>tompom331</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 1:40pm<b>CMaddawg361</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:53am<b>Shamanskinator</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:45pm<b>meganmax</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 11:12pm<b>kittyisbaeornaw</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 10:29pm<b>Lilbrunswick7</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:40am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 7:44pm<b>firecracker5</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:02am<b>McFuzzyMan</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:34pm<b>CAC_Boomerang</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 8:31am

Fucked!<b>Lilbrunswick7</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:40pm<b>Sansa</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:18pm<b>elljoy</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:11am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 11:32pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 11:03pm<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 9:31pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 12:00am<b>haileyrows</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 10:25pm<b>asantos4</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 8:03am<b>adripadri</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:44am<b>horseh</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 5:41am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 3:26am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 5:34pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 5:03pm<b>C00kiesNcream</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:10pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 9:58am<b>brieee</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 6:41am<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 5:35pm

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expertsmilee's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML

#21330296
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30560) - you deserved it (2795)

On 01/03/2015 at 10:56pm - misc - by Dear Lord Save Me (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today, is the fourth day of my husband's and my new diet and exercise routine. I've already caught him eating junk food 4 times. He has lost 2 lbs and I've gained 3. FML

#21328280
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32548) - you deserved it (3683)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:50am - health - by hungry - United States

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML

#21328278
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40883) - you deserved it (3228)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:47am - love - by Proposal Fail - United States (New York)

Today, I accidentally texted my mother instead of my drug dealer. FML

#21324443
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16788) - you deserved it (47890)

On 12/26/2014 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39078) - you deserved it (4000)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

#21312961
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21253) - you deserved it (34063)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:10am - misc - by .__. (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

#21310827
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37089) - you deserved it (3518)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

#21306286
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38326) - you deserved it (3161)

On 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm - misc - by void bowels() { cry(); } (man) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36869) - you deserved it (3025)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36004) - you deserved it (4433)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I didn't make dinner fast enough so somebody had a yelling and screaming temper tantrum. It would be understandable if the person who threw the tantrum was a child, and not my 57-year-old father. FML

#21283737
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31323) - you deserved it (2676)

On 10/23/2014 at 11:56am - misc - by mnote (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

#21264426
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (432) - you deserved it (2731)

On 09/24/2014 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was checking my schedule online and noticed that I wasn't scheduled for any shifts next week. Not thinking it was a big deal, I called HR to get it corrected, only to find out I was laid off and they "forgot" to tell me. FML

#21254078
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38661) - you deserved it (2349)

On 09/07/2014 at 10:31pm - work - by soontobehobo (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

#21249696
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39000) - you deserved it (3719)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by mayoshampoo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to cancel my plans to go see my grandma, because I wasn't feeling too well. I called her to apologize, but she had trouble remembering who I was. When I told her my name, she said "Oh, the FAT one." Yes grandma, the fat one. FML

#21249110
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39005) - you deserved it (5063)

On 08/31/2014 at 3:27pm - kids - by TheFatOne - United States



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