Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

expertsmilee

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

expertsmilee

63Fucked!

expertsmileeexpertsmilee
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 June 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3358
  • Number of comments : 235
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About expertsmilee : Gamer at heart, more feelings than most guys, make love not war.

expertsmilee's page activity

Visits<b>MrGodface</b> - yesterday at 2:14pm<b>Eovyn</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 1:29am<b>imightbeobama</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 10:26pm<b>sky_R03</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:58pm<b>BillieGoat</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:47pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:42pm<b>powerkeep</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:44pm<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:35pm<b>Yarecho</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 2:23pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 1:58pm<b>coleycakes_805</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 1:51pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 12:29am<b>ChinchillaLady</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 2:28pm<b>taterrtots</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 1:22pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 8:57pm<b>SlothCat</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 9:57am<b>Tenker</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 10:26pm<b>lkah</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 3:43am

Fucked!<b>MrGodface</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 2:55am<b>eski2015</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 12:39am<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 11:43am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 4:40am<b>ginnyboo</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 4:44am<b>hi_im_ughlee</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 4:06am<b>nityasomaiya</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 10:17am<b>orios105</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 10:10am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 2:53am<b>twister45</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 4:42pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 11:14am<b>Thatissarcastic</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 6:17pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 7:43am<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:27am<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 1:45pm<b>luridz</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 4:51am<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:46am<b>boofuckinhoo</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 4:02am

expertsmilee's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of expertsmilee's badges

expertsmilee's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was cleaning, listening to music and sometimes singing along, I heard a knock on my front door. I turned off the music and opened the door to the police, who stated they had to investigate reports of "repeated female screams" coming from my apartment. I'm a 23 year old man. FML

#21525261
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14433) - you deserved it (1586)

On 02/11/2016 at 7:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my aunt informed me that my dad thinks my boyfriend is a loser deadbeat because he hasn't proposed to me after two years of dating and co-habitation. He hasn't asked because I already made it very clear I have no interest in marriage. FML

#21524771
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17512) - you deserved it (3911)

On 02/10/2016 at 10:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I worked from home to actually be able to concentrate and make a presentation about my project. My boss then sends me a long email about how he wants us to work in the office, and how important it is for team building, giving me feelings of guilt for actually getting some work done. FML

#21524722
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15751) - you deserved it (1631)

On 02/10/2016 at 6:57am - work - by PhD student (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my sick semi-delusional boyfriend, whom I've been taking care of for days, accused me of trying to poison him so that I could play World of Warcraft. FML

#21517791
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18847) - you deserved it (1666)

On 01/21/2016 at 1:17pm - love - by Septy (woman) - Spain (Andalucia)

Today, I realised what kind of man I married when I finally shelved his book, "Getting Things Done", still untouched 3 months after buying it. FML

#21517718
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16676) - you deserved it (2375)

On 01/21/2016 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy by text. I felt so betrayed, I stupidly tried to hurt her by replying that I'd been cheating on her all along with a hot babe. Turned out the dumping text was actually a prank by her friend. Now I'm single and everyone thinks I'm a cheater. FML

#21515762
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14675) - you deserved it (26695)

On 01/16/2016 at 12:04am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my new upstairs neighbors. They have a four month old child and appear to be firm believers in the "let them cry it out" philosophy. The baby's room is right above mine. A few days of trying to sleep through this shit and I'll look like a Walking Dead extra. FML

#21513493
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20782) - you deserved it (1427)

On 01/10/2016 at 8:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML

#21510935
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24364) - you deserved it (1732)

On 01/03/2016 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML

#21506859
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24268) - you deserved it (1701)

On 12/23/2015 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my husband came home from a six-month business trip. When I saw him, I hugged and kissed him. My grandma started calling me a slutty whore, and told us we were a disgrace to our family, while trying to hit him with her cane. FML

#21504229
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23589) - you deserved it (1469)

On 12/15/2015 at 11:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

#21499606
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23440) - you deserved it (3460)

On 12/03/2015 at 7:52am - intimacy - by snortingspunk (woman) - South Africa

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

#21497787
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26210) - you deserved it (2857)

On 11/28/2015 at 9:32am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyfml (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I started dreaming about being at work. I already work more hours a week than I requested, and I live right across from my work and can see it out my window. I can never leave. FML

#21495858
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21904) - you deserved it (1961)

On 11/23/2015 at 12:00pm - work - by helpme (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend canceled our date last-minute. He claimed he had no time because he had to iron his towels. FML

#21493926
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23965) - you deserved it (2115)

On 11/18/2015 at 6:40am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria (Wien)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: