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  • Town/Country : Macon, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 June 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2835
  • Number of comments : 206
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About expertsmilee : Gamer at heart, more feelings than most guys, make love not war.

expertsmilee's page activity

Visits<b>MarkTheMintMan</b> - 4 hours ago<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - 19 hours ago<b>daGun</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Enzymatic</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 5:35am<b>ChampHero</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 9:27pm<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 8:21am<b>LovelyNightmare</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 6:26am<b>FallenBaphomet</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 6:25pm<b>int15</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 2:58pm<b>twister45</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 1:38am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 4:39am<b>statedabyss</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 1:26pm<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 12:36am<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 5:46pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 4:18pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 11:37am<b>Rainb0wdash9</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 10:16am<b>Thatissarcastic</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 12:17pm

Fucked!<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - 13 hours ago<b>twister45</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 4:42pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 11:14am<b>Thatissarcastic</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 6:17pm<b>insanecutie</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:03am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 7:43am<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:27am<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 1:45pm<b>luridz</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 4:51am<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:46am<b>boofuckinhoo</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 4:02am<b>LeavenSilva</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:50am<b>xmann277</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 11:55pm<b>muzy</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 5:12pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 11:54am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 4:16pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 5:24am<b>Jflowers9296</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 11:56pm

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expertsmilee's favorite FMLs

Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML


I agree, your life sucks (13513) - you deserved it (6933)

On 10/03/2015 at 3:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22147) - you deserved it (7701)

On 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm - work - by horp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic and trick me into missing my flight, so he could spend another day with me before I have to return to Asia for work. There is nothing romantic about spending 2 hours trying to sort out a new international itinerary with Delta's automated menus. FML

Today, I was telling my coworker that I was considering quitting the shady, 50-shades-of-scum business we work at. He snitched to our boss, who quickly fired me on bullshit charges of incompetence, theft, and workplace bullying. I guess I'm not getting a good reference from him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20287) - you deserved it (5434)

On 08/27/2015 at 4:37am - work - by Anon (man) - United States

Today, my sister recorded the sound of me having intense diarrhea, retching at the stench, and eventually breaking down in tears. I only found out when I saw she'd posted it online, with the caption "lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry". I've never been called a pussy by so many people before. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21532) - you deserved it (3630)

On 08/19/2015 at 8:14am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17152) - you deserved it (35548)

On 08/17/2015 at 4:33am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to vacuum to surprise my mom with a clean house. The vacuum started shorting out, sparked, and then burst into flames mid living room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (1916)

On 08/16/2015 at 12:10am - misc - by fire starter - United States (California)

Today, my love life is so pathetic that when I got a sample of cologne in the mail, I kept sniffing it just to remind myself what a guy smells like. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22666) - you deserved it (3227)

On 08/13/2015 at 1:12pm - love - by so_this_is_me (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML


I agree, your life sucks (30797) - you deserved it (5124)

On 07/18/2015 at 1:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32888) - you deserved it (4631)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 weeks showed up at my house at 7 AM. I was about to give him a kiss when he said, "Good morning, is Sarah here?" I was confused until I realized he didn't recognize me because I had no make up on. FML

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29671) - you deserved it (4339)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:02am - intimacy - by alison (woman) - United States

Today, my intern was given his own office. I have been asking to move out of my cubicle for nearly four years. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25373) - you deserved it (2142)

On 06/30/2015 at 5:57am - work - by bosslady (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, a woman came through drive-thru and placed a long order while screaming at her kids in back. When we forgot a doughnut, she became enraged, threw her iced coffees at me, told me I was a no-life and that I always get her order wrong. It's my first day and I was only giving her the order. FML

Today, my pinky finger found out how much a king size bed weighs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23787) - you deserved it (2677)

On 06/22/2015 at 11:12am - health - by akimbojuju - United States

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

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  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

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