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expectcriticism's favorite FMLs
Today, I got a Facebook message from a cute guy I used to work with. He admitted to liking me and when I asked why we never hung out he admitted that my dad, his boss at the time, threatened every guy I have ever worked with. FML
by cricha4208 / 04/15/2014 at 10:01am / United States (Missouri) / Love
by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals
by anon / 03/31/2014 at 6:10pm / United States (New York) / Health
by Jaime / 03/31/2014 at 6:05pm / United States (New York) / Love
by and not even in the good way / 03/30/2014 at 4:36pm / United States / Kids
by SeriouslyMakeItStop / 03/21/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Kentucky) / Health
Today, I came in to work early at a restaurant to help out. I stocked, baked pies for the next day, cleaned and set over 50 tables, and vacuumed the entire two stories. When I went to send an order for the first customer of mine, I realized I hadn't even clocked on. Four ½ hours of work wasted. FML
by IStillHaveMy8hrShiftToGo / 03/11/2014 at 9:01am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by ashamed father / 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by fuck russia and fuck georgia too / 03/09/2014 at 2:38pm / Azerbaijan / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mess around at my workplace's parking lot. Things got hot and steamy, but in the middle of it all, there came a bang at my car window. My frantic boss had seen us and thought I was being attacked. FML
by unknown / 03/07/2014 at 7:53pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML
by rolypoly / 03/05/2014 at 7:33am / United Kingdom / Health
Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML
by anonymous / 03/05/2014 at 12:43am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by limping / 01/24/2014 at 6:10pm / Canada / Kids
Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML
by bluerhhajfk / 08/19/2013 at 7:29pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health
by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
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- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…
- Today, I had to serve a man with a Nazi Eagle tattoo on one arm and an SS tattoo on the other, and… Today, like every other day, I woke up and made myself a cup of coffee using my French press. After… Today, My dad had not had the chance to be with us on Fathers day so we simply had a breakfast for…