expectcriticism

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expectcriticism

2Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 741
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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expectcriticism's page activity

Visits<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 11:20am<b>danimal_crackerz</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 10:00pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 7:39am<b>Galactic_lights</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 5:40pm<b>Darkpit353</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 10:57am<b>FlutterLoud</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 2:15pm<b>14danny</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 3:54am<b>goodvsevil1275</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 10:15am<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 5:13am<b>cman232010</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:29am<b>moulchlo</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:31am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:26am<b>Aleura</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 9:11am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 2:47am<b>why57why</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 8:44pm<b>little_one</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 7:37pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 7:26pm<b>FML64128</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 2:07am

Fucked!<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 11:13am<b>FlutterLoud</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 7:00am

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expectcriticism's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a Facebook message from a cute guy I used to work with. He admitted to liking me and when I asked why we never hung out he admitted that my dad, his boss at the time, threatened every guy I have ever worked with. FML

by cricha4208 / 04/15/2014 at 10:01am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my dad got me one of those word locks for my gym locker, for which the password had to be a four-letter word instead of numbers. My dad chose the combo for me. It was "diet". FML

by anon / 03/31/2014 at 6:10pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML

by Jaime / 03/31/2014 at 6:05pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I thought it would be funny to smack my daughter's head gently with a balloon. It hit her hair clip and exploded. She won't stop crying, and my wife will be home any minute. I'm screwed. FML

by and not even in the good way / 03/30/2014 at 4:36pm / United States / Kids

Today, three days before I take my bar exam, the biggest exam of my life, I got my monthly. And I get to bring my belongings in a clear plastic bag so the world knows. FML

by SeriouslyMakeItStop / 03/21/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Kentucky) / Health

Today, I came in to work early at a restaurant to help out. I stocked, baked pies for the next day, cleaned and set over 50 tables, and vacuumed the entire two stories. When I went to send an order for the first customer of mine, I realized I hadn't even clocked on. Four ½ hours of work wasted. FML

by IStillHaveMy8hrShiftToGo / 03/11/2014 at 9:01am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

by ashamed father / 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML

by fuck russia and fuck georgia too / 03/09/2014 at 2:38pm / Azerbaijan / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mess around at my workplace's parking lot. Things got hot and steamy, but in the middle of it all, there came a bang at my car window. My frantic boss had seen us and thought I was being attacked. FML

by unknown / 03/07/2014 at 7:53pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

by rolypoly / 03/05/2014 at 7:33am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML

by anonymous / 03/05/2014 at 12:43am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, in revenge for being grounded for bullying a kid at school, my eight-year-old son flung a handful of Lego in my path as I walked barefoot into the kitchen. I'm still in pain. 5ML

by limping / 01/24/2014 at 6:10pm / Canada / Kids

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

by bluerhhajfk / 08/19/2013 at 7:29pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.