ex_omer

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Offline (the 03/24/2016 at 10:19pm)

ex_omer

2Fucked!

ex_omer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 June 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2696
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ex_omer's page activity

Visits<b>Cdwoods</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 4:07pm<b>Ahyuenhsia</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 8:19am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 8:05am<b>samanthaelena</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 6:03pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 7:29am<b>The_Unlucky1</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 7:11pm<b>couchcat</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 1:04pm<b>Giggidypope</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 3:06pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 6:54am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 4:53pm<b>flyingl3ap</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 10:24pm<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 8:58pm<b>steph_steph123</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 11:53am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 12:12am<b>AndyEleven</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 12:37pm<b>bwg105</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 8:16am<b>ritz24683</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 7:28am<b>maggiefox</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 5:38pm

Fucked!<b>Ahyuenhsia</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 1:19pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 1:29pm

ex_omer's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of ex_omer's badges

ex_omer's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2010 at 3:30am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I bought a used car from a friend of mine. After getting the car home and further inspecting it, I found one of my wife's earrings in the backseat. FML

by dane / 06/29/2010 at 2:07pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend on MSN. I screen-copied my desktop to show her the conversation I was having with my best friend. Minutes later she replied asking why I had a porn site opened on the other tab. Oops. FML

by retard99 / 03/21/2010 at 12:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML

by anonymous / 02/21/2010 at 10:16am / United States / Love

Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML

by wilsmith / 02/01/2010 at 7:36am / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

by BlackPolarbear / 01/23/2010 at 3:05am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

by squirrel / 01/09/2010 at 12:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

by BathroomMuch / 12/25/2009 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

by obsessed / 11/27/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was performing an experiment in science class. The prac required me to shake up a test tube filled with different materials. Taking the test tube in one hand, I shook it up and down. My teacher then stood next to me and said, "It's disturbing how good you are at that." FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2009 at 8:02pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, my father decided that since he's paying for my flat, he will use it twice a week to have it off with his girlfriend while I'm away. My parents are still together. FML

by franzbiel / 10/31/2009 at 8:54am / Switzerland (Luzern) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML

by frustrated / 10/30/2009 at 12:17am / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy

Today, my secret crush, who sits next to me in Bio, asked if he could borrow my notes. I agreed. It was only after he drove away, with my notebook, that I realized that in the back of my notes, I had written his name 100 times, surrounded by little hearts. FML

by Lovenotes / 10/17/2009 at 7:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2009 at 2:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous