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Offline (the 03/24/2016 at 10:19pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 June 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3033
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ex_omer's page activity

Visits<b>Cdwoods</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 4:07pm<b>Ahyuenhsia</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 8:19am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 8:05am<b>samanthaelena</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 6:03pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 7:29am<b>The_Unlucky1</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 7:11pm<b>couchcat</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 1:04pm<b>Giggidypope</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 3:06pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 6:54am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 4:53pm<b>flyingl3ap</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 10:24pm<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 8:58pm<b>steph_steph123</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 11:53am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 12:12am<b>AndyEleven</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 12:37pm<b>bwg105</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 8:16am<b>ritz24683</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 7:28am<b>maggiefox</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 5:38pm

Fucked!<b>Ahyuenhsia</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 1:19pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 1:29pm

ex_omer's FML badges

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ex_omer's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs with white outlines are "optional." I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for being "that stupid." Thanks dad. FML

by Dinger1992 / 10/23/2012 at 9:19am / United States / Money

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm / United Kingdom (Wokingham) / Kids

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML

by tehaustiebear / 10/03/2012 at 6:03pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML

by wife of a shithead / 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

by Class / 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML

by mel / 05/11/2012 at 5:23pm / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Work

Today, my dad informed me that my prom dress makes me look chubby from the side, gives me "back fat", and that I wouldn't want to go to prom looking like that. I tried to ignore his hurtful comments and tell myself I was beautiful. Then the clasp broke. FML

by Winx / 03/16/2012 at 3:13am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML

by still learning / 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

by ShylaMarie / 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm / Canada / Kids

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

by Aly / 12/09/2011 at 10:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

by bakedplum / 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my boyfriend of a year kissing another girl. When I walked up to confront him about it, he tried to convince the other girl he didn't know who I was. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm / United States (Texas) / Love