Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ex_omer

Offline (the 03/30/2015 at 5:42am) | Search for a member

ex_omer

0Liked!

ex_omer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 June 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1653
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ex_omer : based on some complements, I am a really good looking person

ex_omer's page activity

Visits<b>maggiefox</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 5:38pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 1:58am<b>reillyg11</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 9:31pm<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:40pm<b>joarasmi</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 10:36pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 11:07pm<b>waffleeater_153</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 6:03pm<b>DefiantGirl</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:49am<b>dandee_one</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 8:48am<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 2:14am<b>DarkSmoke591</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 7:17pm<b>cocogibson</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 12:06pm<b>screenager5</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 10:02pm<b>nirmalsundhar</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 1:13am<b>msunique_me</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 2:19pm<b>HAno97</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:14am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 8:24pm<b>JosephAnders</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 8:57pm

ex_omer's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of ex_omer's badges

ex_omer's favorite FMLs

Today , I Told My Husband That I'm Jealous Of All The Other Girls Whose Husbands Always Take Pictures Of Them Together And Post Them Online!! He Responded By Posting A Picture Of Himself , With Me On The Toilet In The Background , Captioned "The Bitch On The Pot." FML

#21241016
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43722) - you deserved it (16621)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was babysitting a little grl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupiedhile I quickly went to use the bathroom, anhen I returnd she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds includd. FML

#21171266
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42908) - you deserved it (5124)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, mah friend announcd that she'd lost wieght recently. As I was congratulating her, mah baby sister said, ( I think you're still fat but that's good cuz you can give more meat to Godhen you go to heaven. ) Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46043) - you deserved it (5320)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, mah cat decided to hide in the garbage can so he could get a free trip outside, but was too fat to climb all of the way inside of it. He got stuck half-way in. It took me ten minutes to get him out. FML

TODAY, WHILE AT A RESTAURANT WITH MY HUSBAND 4 OUR 4-YEAR ANNIVERSARY, HE KEPT BEHAVING STRANGELY, BREATHING DEEPLY AN EVENTUALLY SIGHING HAPPILY. I THOUGHT THE WINE HAD JUST GONE TO HIS HEAD. NOPE; HE PROUDLY ADMITTED LATER THAT HE'D JERKED OFF WITHOUT ANYONE NOTICING, EVEN ME. FML

#21126320
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43777) - you deserved it (4996)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today mah dog has found a new game he likes . It involves him rolling around on mah new bd sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shockd . FML

#21008001
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44479) - you deserved it (5336)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

YESTERDAY AFTER BEING MARRID 4 20 YEARS, I FOUND OUT THAT MAH WIFE HAS ACCOUNTS ON MULTIPLE DATING SITES, "JUST IN CASE." FML

#21007851
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41628) - you deserved it (3338)

On 12/28/2013 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Yesterday, mah boyfriend an I decided to try flavored condoms!! I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle!! FML

#20961988
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44596) - you deserved it (18017)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

YASTARDAY , WHILA TAACHING JUNIORS ABOUT BLACK HOLAS , I SAID , "IMAGINA AVARYTHING BAING SUCKAD INTO A BLACK HOLA." AN AFRICAN-AMARICAN STUDANT SHOUTAD , "I'D BATTAR START CLANCHING!" NOBODY TOOK THA LASSON SARIOUSLY AFTAR THAT. FML

#20946225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44420) - you deserved it (5391)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, during dinner, mah mom told mah dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes fir lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia . I was forced to sit through this until I finished mah plate .

#20941234
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41763) - you deserved it (3722)

On 11/01/2013 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Champignon (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I rushd to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologizd for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He respondd with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands."

#20937985
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45923) - you deserved it (12457)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today , my girlfriand got a datantion 4 public display of affaction. Wa go to diffarant schools. FML

#20937522
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55845) - you deserved it (4167)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:24am - love - by cmart_9 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I ad to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our batroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in te day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out tat pipe wasn't te only one e snakd. FML

#20932505
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56224) - you deserved it (3756)

On 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm - misc - by soon to be divorced (man) - United States

Taday I opened up to my parents about my depression . Their response was to have a very heated discussion about whose fault it was . FML

#20929825
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40350) - you deserved it (3103)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Yesterday, I got a call from ma daugter’s scool today!! Se ad been telling te teacer, looool ( I ave a uge boner!! ) Apparently, some of te kids at scool told er it meant 'eadace an se's been saying it all day!! FML

#20928358
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42980) - you deserved it (3314)

On 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm - kids - by momaaa1342 - United States (Illinois)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: