evilplatypus

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evilplatypus

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 5 March 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1799
  • Number of comments : 1043
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About evilplatypus : Anyone else find it a tad creepy that random people come in to look at this? Do they expect me to have answered the meaning of life in here?

On a side note: I firmly believe the tilde ~, the most useless punctuation known to the English language, should be the official punctuation of sarcasm.

Reasons people vote YDI on posts that can't possibly be YDI:
They accidentally hit the wrong button
They're going for a badge
They're pissed a story of theirs hasn't been posted and are getting "revenge"
They think OP is overreacting
They think the OP is whining about "first world problems"
They like to even the odds on the voting
They're playing devil's advocate for a side of the story we're not seeing
Etc...

evilplatypus's page activity

Visits<b>AirBusDriver</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Allornone</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Jen092</b> - 13 hours ago<b>unfuqnreal</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 3:46pm<b>raven83</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 2:49pm<b>steelmoonlight</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 11:16pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 8:45am<b>paintbullits</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 1:57am<b>weedle99</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 11:22pm<b>swimthenread27</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 11:21pm<b>wordiestcookie</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 10:23pm<b>NoahK2003</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 9:48pm<b>Aky0n</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 9:42pm<b>dno79</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 1:14am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 10:42pm<b>jasonrellet</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 5:25pm<b>BrooklynGirl36</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 5:49pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 4:31pm

Fucked!<b>Allornone</b> - 4 hours ago<b>dno79</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 7:14am<b>lovecottoncandy</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 4:25am<b>jojocircus19</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 6:03am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 5:20am<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:42pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 6:18pm<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 5:13am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:04pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:14am<b>Codog01</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 5:42pm

evilplatypus's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of evilplatypus's badges

evilplatypus's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I politely asked a patron to be quieter; I was hit in the face. I work in a library. FML

by rubgy_lover / 06/27/2013 at 11:02am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML

by Claire / 01/19/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML

by mel / 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

by Keastwood013 / 01/18/2013 at 10:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was placed firmly in the friend-zone. By my wife. We've been married 10 years. She doesn't want a divorce, she says it'd be too "time-consuming." FML

by agh marriage / 10/11/2012 at 1:56am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML

by blah / 07/21/2011 at 10:10am / United States / Health

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend that said, "Last week was the most embarassing time of my life, we're over." He was of course referring to the seizure that I had due to my epilepsy at Olive Garden. FML

by Allie / 10/29/2009 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids