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evan_7899

Offline (the 01/13/2014 at 3:07am) | Search for a member

evan_7899

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 April 1979 (36 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4174
  • Number of comments : 197
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About evan_7899 : I Im from Toronto Canada and Italian Background

evan_7899's page activity

Visits<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 6:11pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 2:20pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 9:08pm<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 10:54pm<b>shay_serendipity</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 8:35pm<b>EmoKami</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 4:08pm<b>Ka5hif</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:53am<b>imbetterthanyoo</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 2:02pm<b>abattior</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:35am<b>AnimeRules1125</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 1:11am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 3:42am<b>Destro109</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 12:21am<b>LadyQuantum7</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 4:41pm<b>pinkgal2129</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 6:20pm<b>gavocado</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 10:38pm<b>CallMeCake</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 6:08am<b>Xquisite1</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 7:47am<b>sugar94</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 5:12pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:20pm

evan_7899's FML badges

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.

See all of evan_7899's badges

evan_7899's favorite FMLs

Today, I got the chance to speak to some of the top academics in my field. I was so hungover that I couldn't remember the title of the Masters degree I've spent two years studying for, let alone make intelligent comments. I'm pretty sure the only thing I got right was my name. FML

#20588088
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13508) - you deserved it (100250)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by could be an fml commenter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60873) - you deserved it (20299)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

#20582010
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30485) - you deserved it (9772) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

#20574730
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38476) - you deserved it (6752)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

#20562346
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70255) - you deserved it (10612)

On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51771) - you deserved it (6267)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51287) - you deserved it (12123)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a serious argument and he stormed out of the house mad. Why? I wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of his knob. FML

#20553362
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40486) - you deserved it (16949)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:01am - intimacy - by meeee (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

#20550602
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49260) - you deserved it (22026)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, thinking my girlfriend had left her little black thong in the dryer to tease me, I sent her a picture of me seductively posing with it. She didn't text back, but a few hours later my 16 year old daughter asked if she'd left anything in the dryer. FML

#20539833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22614) - you deserved it (48963)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML

#20530380
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46301) - you deserved it (5917)

On 03/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nopanties (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

#20526083
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36989) - you deserved it (10698)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

#20525434
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29787) - you deserved it (2217)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by she sure has an arm. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

#20524344
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36828) - you deserved it (6099)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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