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evan_7899

Offline (the 01/13/2014 at 3:07am) | Search for a member

evan_7899

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 April 1979 (35 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3463
  • Number of comments : 197
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About evan_7899 : I Im from Toronto Canada and Italian Background

evan_7899's page activity

Visits<b>Wondermage</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 9:08pm<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 10:54pm<b>shay_serendipity</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 8:35pm<b>EmoKami</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 4:08pm<b>Ka5hif</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:53am<b>imbetterthanyoo</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 2:02pm<b>abattior</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:35am<b>AnimeRules1125</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 1:11am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 3:42am<b>Destro109</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 12:21am<b>LadyQuantum7</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 4:41pm<b>pinkgal2129</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 6:20pm<b>gavocado</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 10:38pm<b>CallMeCake</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 6:08am<b>Xquisite1</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 7:47am<b>sugar94</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 5:12pm<b>titandesu</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:03pm<b>TehAnderz</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 8:07pm

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.

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evan_7899's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I woke up right as the dentist pulled my last tooth. FML

#20708877
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49124) - you deserved it (3096)

On 06/06/2013 at 1:01am - health - by Applejacks18 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53532) - you deserved it (4058)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

#20707362
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51136) - you deserved it (4701)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States

Today, I had to walk home in the rain because my mom didn't want to get her new car wet. FML

#20705347
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56871) - you deserved it (3654)

On 06/04/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68171) - you deserved it (19315)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43697) - you deserved it (7448)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML

#20683635
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34245) - you deserved it (11437)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:08pm - work - by anthony512 (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

#20681121
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46130) - you deserved it (2991)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML

#20678725
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43608) - you deserved it (2567)

On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

#20664572
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51957) - you deserved it (8986)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

#20638691
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25818) - you deserved it (68130)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by acnecream - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60627) - you deserved it (9154)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

#20634924
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28488) - you deserved it (55063)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50398) - you deserved it (8166)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, trying to be friendly, I said good morning to the creepy guy at work. He responded by wordlessly hugging me. I was touched, until I realized he was trying to unhook my bra. FML

#20588922
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47169) - you deserved it (7838)

On 04/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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