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About evan_7899 : I Im from Toronto Canada and Italian Background
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I like things a lot, 20 times in fact
You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minute later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place 4 a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing 4 my life. FML
Today , I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined , an I had to stand an watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was ( God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking. ) fat FML
Yesterday, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said u could, but anything u caught under 5 inche has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried an complained to my boss.
Today, aftar a slaaplass night, I fall aslaap at mah work dask. Whan I awoka, I found mah co-workars had duct tapad ma to mah chair. I was yalling at tham to untapa ma, whan our boss cama in, scoldad ma fir fucking about on tha job, and laft without saying a word to mah collaaguas. maga FML
Today , mah neighbors calld the police an said that they saw , through the window , a suspicious person in mah house doing something to mah piano . The ( suspicious person ) was me , in mah own house , playing mah own piano . FML
today I saw a coin on the ground!! As I bent over to pick it up..!! some dude cummed up from behind..!! grabbed my waist and humped me three times!! He ran away before I could get a good look at his face!! FML
Today, I was hitting on a cute grl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opend Safari on my phone. It opend to my video from Pornhub I watchd yesterday and startd playing, on full volume, through the entre bus. FML
Today , My Bathroom Floodd . I Frantically Cleand My Apartment As Fast As I Could Before The Plumber Arrivd . Everything Was Finally Clean When I Let Him In . It Wasn't Until After He Finishd That I Noticd I'd Left My Anal Beads In The Shower . There's No Way He Didn't Notice . Mega FML
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realizd there was no more toilet paper, so I askd my friend to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
Friday 27 March 2015