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evan_7899

Offline (the 01/13/2014 at 3:07am) | Search for a member

evan_7899

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 April 1979 (35 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3787
  • Number of comments : 197
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About evan_7899 : I Im from Toronto Canada and Italian Background

evan_7899's page activity

Visits<b>Wondermage</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 9:08pm<b>tampabayfan</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 10:54pm<b>shay_serendipity</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 8:35pm<b>EmoKami</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 4:08pm<b>Ka5hif</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:53am<b>imbetterthanyoo</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 2:02pm<b>abattior</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:35am<b>AnimeRules1125</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 1:11am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 3:42am<b>Destro109</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 12:21am<b>LadyQuantum7</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 4:41pm<b>pinkgal2129</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 6:20pm<b>gavocado</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 10:38pm<b>CallMeCake</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 6:08am<b>Xquisite1</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 7:47am<b>sugar94</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 5:12pm<b>titandesu</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:03pm<b>TehAnderz</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 8:07pm

evan_7899's FML badges

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You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.

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evan_7899's favorite FMLs

Today, ten minutes into a blind date, my date said, "I don't mean to be rude, but... your face? It's the reason booze was invented." FML

#20792695
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52279) - you deserved it (4365)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held my cat above my head Lion King style. The height must have made him nervous, because he shat on my head. FML

#20788265
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28421) - you deserved it (50586)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML

#20782097
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49730) - you deserved it (17046)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by peniswoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58682) - you deserved it (12287)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML

#20779957
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28039) - you deserved it (54979)

On 07/13/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by fuck (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100068) - you deserved it (11688)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home at 1am to find my mom sitting on my couch, ranting about how I'm not supposed to stay up this late. I'm 26 and I don't know how she got into my house. FML

#20775513
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60028) - you deserved it (3743)

On 07/11/2013 at 2:26am - misc - by whowhat (man) - United States

Today, after a haircut, I walked to the cash register, handed the hairdresser a $20 bill and said, "Keep the change." He looked at me with a blank expression and replied, "The haircut costs 25 dollars." FML

#20773985
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30416) - you deserved it (46699)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:38am - misc - by RickTheBoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was over my grandparents' house for my grandfather's birthday. For years they would talk to each other in Italian and I could never understand them, so I started to take an online class to teach myself Italian. Now I know all they talk about is how much they hate everything about me. FML

#20773825
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58436) - you deserved it (4090)

On 07/10/2013 at 3:51am - misc - by mike - United States

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend gives out my number to guys who ask for hers. Let's just say that I'll never be able to unsee the pictures that were sent to me. FML

#20768089
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53761) - you deserved it (4745)

On 07/07/2013 at 1:21am - intimacy - by nomorenakedpicsplease - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

#20767385
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55186) - you deserved it (7766)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by hamburger - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML

#20766909
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47507) - you deserved it (19060)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by BlueB (man) - United States

Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

#20764944
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68918) - you deserved it (8109)

On 07/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59882) - you deserved it (4751)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I finally realized that when my seemingly very judgmental fiancé makes negative comments about other women, it's actually just an excuse to keep ogling them. FML

#20761657
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38804) - you deserved it (5442)

On 07/03/2013 at 1:35pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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