About evan_7899 : I Im from Toronto Canada and Italian Background
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You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I like things a lot, 20 times in fact
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evan_7899's favorite FMLs
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML
by herpderp / 02/10/2009 at 7:41pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
by hahahehehohohoo / 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Love
by 918boyz / 02/04/2009 at 5:23pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…
- Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the… Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to… Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds…
- Today, I was in the middle of watching this awesome show on Hulu. I was halfway through the season… Today, my friend asked me whether I wanted to go to the gym with her, after grabbing my phone and a… Today, while browsing the Internet on my phone I noticed a spider above my bed. Being pretty chill…
- Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long…